Awakening Of The Heart
by myriassterre
Summary: COMPLETE! BA. Buffy has withdrawn herself from those aroundher because of something that happened years ago,and her son doesn't really have the full story so Buffy begins to tell him a story... First in a trilogy. TRILOGY ABANDONED.
1. Prologue

Awakening Of The Heart

By Maddy

**Summary:** Angel becomes human, there's a B/A reunion. Yeah!! Angst.

**Rating: **PG13, could be more. Implied stuff, some swearing.

**Spoilers: **The whole series of Buffy, seasons 1-7 and Angel seasons 1 through to the beginning of season 5. Bits and pieces are mentioned or play a part, others don't, and you'll figure it out as you go.

**Timeline: **Begins February 21st 2010, then it goes back to the time between seasons 4+5 and 1+2.

**Distribution: **you are very welcome to have it angelz_fly_low@hotmail.com 

**Disclaimer: **Own no one from Buffy/Angel verse. Joss and Co. does.

**Dedication: **None

**Feedback: **Give it to me.

**Author's Notes: **Couples: Year 2000 timeline = Buffy/Riley, Buffy/Angel, Willow/Tara, Xander/Anya, plus a few more. Year 2010 timeline = Willow/Oz, Xander/Cordelia, Wesley/Virginia, Gunn/Fred, Giles/Olivia.

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**Prologue.                                                                                            February 21st 2010**

She watched the laughing face of her son. Glad he was having a good time, _as he should be, _she thought mournfully. The back yard was full of happy, smiley faces. All here to celebrate her son's birthday. _Or to eat free food._ A gust of wind blew hair into her face, pushing away the golden brown hair; she nearly got hit in the face with a tennis ball. Her lightning quick reflexes caught the ball mere inches from her face. 

"Wow, good catch," said one of her son's friends, as he came to retrieve his ball.

"Here you go, Shane," she said passing the ball to the blonde 8 year old. 

"Thanks, Mrs O'Connor," he said before running back to the handball game on the patio. She smiled at the innocence of all this, friends and family getting together to celebrate ones day of birth. We're all born innocent…but it doesn't last for long. The innocence is taken away, not by choice, but by luck, chance, fate…or misfortune. Her son still retained much of his innocence, but his ignorance of the darker side of the world, had never existed. _Lucky them, _she said once about most people's unknowing for the world she was violently shoved into. _To have a choice of how my life would run_…for so many years she believed a future was off limits but then all these windows of opportunity opened up…_and I had no idea which way to go._

"Buffy…" said a voice pulling her from her reverie. "It's time for the cake."

"Sure," she complied getting out of the seat. "It's in the house isn't it?"

"The kitchen. But not for long," joked her friend of 13 long, hard years. "Soon it'll be in my stomach." He patted his mid-section.

"Soon enough, Xander, soon enough," she said as he opened the back door for her. "And you're only having the max. of 2 pieces."

"Yeah, yeah…whatever," he said letting the door close behind them.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

He blew out the candles, 9 of them, in one go. _My wish will come true._ He looked up at his mother standing beside him, smiling as Uncle Xander took photos. _Will the photos create the illusion that the smile reaches her eyes? Or will they still look empty?_ Her young smooth face betrayed the years of suffering, of tears and fighting. Her eyes hazel and wide.

_Are they only ever empty when I look at them? Or can everyone see? _


	2. Part One

**Part One. **                                                                                           **February 21st 2010 **

"Goodnight mommy." Said the little dark haired boy from underneath the covers. _But he isn't so little anymore,_ thought Buffy O'Connor. _Nine years old, he's practically grown up._ " I had a good birthday," he said pulling down the blanket from his face.

"That's good, sweetie. I'm glad. But how about next year we don't invite Uncle Xander?" she joked kissing him on the forehead.

"Nah. He's fun. And besides, no one else was going to eat that cake."

"That's true."

"Mom?" he asked as his mother's eyes glazed over in unfallen tears. "What's wrong? Are you thinking about Dad?"

That caught he attention. "What? No-I…go to sleep." A brisk kiss and Buffy left the room, not breaking stride to turn off the light, closing the door behind her, leaving her son in the dark. In more ways than one. As soon as the door was shut, the young woman let the tears fall. She sunk to the ground and leaned against the wall, watching her son's bedroom door. Buffy Anne O'Connor. Mother. Friend. Sister. Daughter. Crying as silently as she could.

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Liam Angelus O'Connor sighed in sympathy for his mother. The vibrant young woman of 29 years, the slayer who changed the world forever…who brought him into it. Alone. With his supernatural hearing he was well aware of his mother's crying. And he also knew why.

His father.

Liam knew very little about his father. And none of it came from Buffy. All he knew, he was told by Uncle Xander, Auntie Willow, Grandpa Giles, Auntie Cordelia and Uncle Oz. But not one single person spoke about his death. Liam only knew that he was shot two times. Spike told him that when he visited L.A. last month. Spike seemed to believe that he had a right to know about his father, but Spike was interrupted by his mother before he found out anything else. His father was shot twice in the chest the day after his conception. His poor mother.

Liam lay down on his pillow, closed his beautiful soulful deep brown eyes and fell asleep to the sounds of his mother's cries.

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Buffy knew her son deserved the truth, he deserves so much more. A normal life. She nearly laughed at the absurdity of it. _A normal life, I don't even know what one of them is. _While pregnant with Liam, Buffy's mother and father tried to convince her to get either an abortion or after the baby was born give her child up for adoption. She would never, could never, kill an innocent child, let alone a child that was his. So abortion was out of the question. But for one fleeting moment that felt like an eternity, Buffy considered giving up her baby for adoption. To have the normal she craved. Away from all the demons and apocalypses.

But she could never go on with her life without her baby, the only part of him left in the world. How could she, knowing that there was a little version of him and her growing up in a different family, not knowing what an unbelievable miracle they were. How precious they were. And how much they were loved. She couldn't give her baby away. 

After the birth of her son, it was apparent that if he had been given up, it could have been very disastrous. Liam inherited both of his parents' strength, healing and advanced senses. As he was growing up, Liam had very little control over his strength. Doors suffered, as did cups, plates and other people's bones. But eventually he got it under wraps.

He knew very little about his father, Buffy felt she was the one to blame for that. But even after nearly 10 years, the pain was still as real as it was all those years ago. It still hurt to talk about it, about him. So Liam was left in the dark. _I'm so sorry. _

Buffy wiped the tears from her hazel eyes, pulled herself to her feet and slowly descended the stairs, not at all surprised with who she met at the bottom. She felt her resolve fade. His eyes full of sympathy and caring. With a gesture of his arms, Buffy launched herself at him, crying into his shirt. His arms secured around her, being once again the rock in her life.

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"I don't think I can." Said Buffy dabbing the tissue to her eyes. They were in the kitchen of the old Victorian two-storey house. Xander passed her a glass of water, she thankfully accepted.

"You're going to have to." Xander said seriously. "He turned 9 today. He needs to know about his father."

"Then why don't you tell him?"

"Because you're his mother. His only living blood relative that really cares and loves him. I'm just Uncle Xander." He said with a smile. "You know I'll always be there for him…for you. You're still grieving, Buffy. It still hurts to think about him-"

"Doesn't it hurt when you think about Anya?"

"It does," he admitted. "But mostly I laugh at something she said, or feel really embarrassed."

"We've lost too many," she whispered. _That we have,_ thought Xander, _too many._ Joyce to a blood clot in the brain. Dawn, to a mystical portal. Tara, to Warren. Anya, to a Bringer. Spike, to the sun and Hellmouth. Faith, to vamps. Hannah to demons. Robin, to a broken heart. Kennedy, to vamps…the list in endless.

"but we still have each other. I'm still here. So are Cordy, Will, Oz, Giles, Olivia and Liam. Anna, Angela and Doyle. Tarren and Aura. William and Genevieve. Wesley, Virginia, Gunn, Fred and their kids. We're in this together. We've always been there for each other. And you've been relying only on yourself for the past 10 years."

"I'm all I've got."

"That's not true and you know it."

"But everybody leaves," her tears began to fall again. Xander pulled her towards him once again. "Why do they leave me?" and for one of the few times in his life, Xander Harris had nothing to say.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

After he led Buffy up to her room and tucked her in, Xander left the beautiful house, locking it up with his own set of keys. Cordy and himself lived five houses down the road with their 3 children Anna, 4 and Angela and Doyle, the twins were 3. All the Gang's children were named after a deceased loved one. Anna was Anya. Angela was Angel and Doyle was Doyle. Liam was named after Angel's original name. Willow and Oz's kids, Tarren (3) after Tara and Aura (1) after Dawn. Giles and Olivia have Genevieve (6), named after Jenny and William (5) after Spike. The L.A. Gang, Fred and Gunn have Alanna (4) after Gunn's sister of the same name. Wesley and Virginia have Eliza (6) after Wesley's fave Aunt Elizabeth and Jeremy (4) after Virginia's Grandmother Jemima.

All named after dead people. _We no way live in the past._  

Xander waled down the footpath, it was only 9 o'clock. He remembered a time when this meant they were either patrolling or at the Bronze. But since Sunnydale got sucked into the Hellmouth, no more Bronze. And they hardly ever patrol anymore. One day their kids will do that. Anna and Eliza are both Slayers; _this life will never let us go._

Once at his own 2-storey Victorian house, Xander walked to the front door, unlocked it, went inside and locked it up behind him. Cordelia Harris was sitting in the conservatory painting a landscape of rolling hills and wildflowers next to a cliff side by the ocean. "How are they?" she asked not looking up.

"Okay now. Buffy cried a bit though."

"That's all she's been doing lately," sighed the artist putting down her paintbrush. "When do you think we'll be able to talk about him and actually say 'Angel' in front of her…or with her?"

"I don't know," said a defeated Xander falling back into the wicker two seater next to his wife of 5 years. "I honestly thought a year or so would have been enough. But it's nearly been 10 years since Angel was shot dead."

"You don't love him like she does."

"I know, I'd be gay if I did." Joked Xander trying to lift the dark mood that had fallen on the awake members of his family. His nuclear gamily at least. 

"I love him too," said Cordy.

"I know."

"He was my best friend. He was the brother I never had. He was taken away fro all of us. We're the only ones who have grieved properly. Buffy wants him to only belong to her. And she's being stupid!"

"Cordy…she watched him die-"

"So did I Xander. I was there too remember," said Cordelia getting to her feet. "I watched him slip away. I watched Buffy scream and cry. I did nothing. All I could do was watch."

"There was nothing you could do. How many times have I told you that? He couldn't be saved."

"I miss him so much." Cordelia's eyes swelled with tears.

"I know…we all do." Xander rose to his feet, his wife fell into his arms. _That's been my job since Angel's death. I'm the one they cry at or scream to. I'm the one who listens. The one who wipes their tears away._ "I love you, Cordelia."

"I love you too, Xander."

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	3. Part Two

**Part Two.                                                                                            February 22nd 2010**

Buffy placed the last pile of plates into the dishwasher. _The last of many loads. _Liam's party had been a great success. 15 of his school friends then add the extended Scooby Gang (minus Giles, Olivia, Gene and Will), and all their kids, it equalled to 32 people. 9 adults, their 9 offspring and 15 of Liam's classmates. _It was very hectic._ Luckily Buffy owns a large house with large yards.

When Buffy, Liam, Xander, Willow and Kennedy moved into this house in January 2004, it easily held the 5 people in the 5-bedroom house. When Xander and Cordy got back together, they moved into a 4-bedroom house down the road in March 2004. Kennedy was killed in March also. Willow and Oz reunited in May and moved across the road from Buffy in August 2004. Then it was only Buffy and Liam alone in the big house.

Knock! Knock! The backdoor opened and in stepped Willow, with little Aura on her hip. The small redheaded girl was all smiles, Buffy tried to smile too. "Hey Aura-Laura," she cooed tickling her on the stomach. "Who is ya Will?"

"I could ask you the same thing." Said Willow handing her one-year-old daughter to Liam, who had just come in the room. "Just sit with Au and watch T.V. okay sweetie."

"Sure Auntie Willow." With Aura safe in his strong arms, Liam walked into the living room, seconds later the muffled sound of a television was heard.

"Let me guess," said the blonde slayer pushing buttons on the dishwasher. "You got a call from Xander last night."

"No. From Liam."

"What?"

"Rang me from the upstairs phone after 12, while you were asleep. He wanted to know if he had made you cry."

"Oh, God." She breathed sitting down in one of the chairs by the table.

"You have to tell him, Buffy."

"Why does everyone keep telling me that." Asked a frustrated Buffy.

"Because it's the truth. Liam has to know about his father. Who he was, who he died…just how much you love him. Kids want their parents to love each other. He has only recently started asking questions. He deserves answers, Buffy. You also need to talk about it. The rest of us have talked and joked and grieved, you're still stuck in between denial and acceptance. Angel is dead."

"Don't you dare think I don't know that," hissed Buffy. "I watched him die. He went limp in my arms and his hand fell from my face. His eyes closed and he DIED!" Screamed the small slayer. "He left me, after saying he wouldn't. He LEFT me! I was alone. I watched him DIE! If you think I'm in denial, then you can go and get fucked, Willow. Because I saw the truth. It ripped out my heart and I watched it stop beating right before I died."

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"Here you go." Said her husband of 5 years. Willow gratefully took the cup of tea.

"Thanks, Oz." She took a sip, feeling the boiling hot liquid burn her tongue. Xander, Cordy, Oz and herself were sitting at the meals table in the small room adjoining the kitchen. The Osbourne residence was Victorian like all the other houses in the street, 2-storey, 4 bedrooms. But unlike Xander and Cordy's house that has no spare bedrooms, Willow's has one, while Buffy's has 3 spare. A huge house for a small family. But Buffy has repeatedly said she'd never sell that house. It was the first home any of them had had since Sunnydale went whoosh!!

"I don't know what we're going to do." Sighed Xander.

"I don't think there's anything we can do," spoke up Cordelia. "This is Buffy we're talking about. She keeps everything inside 'till she's about to explode…then she does. I for one don't want to be around when that happens."

"She's still grieving," said Willow softly putting down her tea.

"Yeah, why is that? Everyone else has grieved and moved on. She's just shoved her feeling to one side and left them there-"

"Everybody grieves differently, Cordelia," interrupted Willow. "Buffy's just taking longer than the rest of us to accept and move on. All we can do is give her time."

"And 10 years isn't enough?" Asked a bewildered Cordelia. "All we have given her is more time. We don't talk about him in front of her, can't joke about something stupid he said. It's like he never existed. All that is left of him is Liam. The one constant reminder of what she's lost-"

"Buffy's a great mother." Said Willow standing up for her best friend of 13 years. "She's not alone. We all helped raise him."

"Then someone should tell her that. Buffy believes she is alone in her grief. And she wants to keep it that way. Angel doesn't only belong to her," added Cordy dropping her voice. "I lost him as well."

"We all did, Cordelia." Said Willow.

"Bullshit," she muttered.

"Excuse me?"

"You know that's not true. You were only being there for Buffy and myself. You didn't lose the love of your life or your best friend. You lost an old friend you talked to once the year before he died. Oz didn't really give a rats. He wasn't even around when Angel was shot. Xander hated him. Buffy, Wesley and I really lost him. You just felt bad." Cordelia pushed back the chair and stood up. "Buffy has been given enough time. She needs to get over it and move on."

"It's not something you just get over." Said Xander. "It doesn't matter how many you lose, it doesn't get easier."

"I never said it did. Liam needs her to be his mother, not to still be grieving for a man he never met. I'll see you at home." Cordelia left the kitchen and exited the house by the front door. Willow let her head fall to the table surface. _Thud._      

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Little did the founding members of the Scooby Gang know, but Buffy was tackling the same decision. _Should I tell my son about his father's death? Should I let go of the past? A healthy response would be 'yes.' We both need this. I need the closure; Liam needs to know about his dad. _It was 6:30pm. Dinner had been eaten and the table cleared. Liam sat in the family room watching cartoons on the Disney Channel. _Cable is a child's best friend,_ she mused. He deserves the truth. _He deserves so much more than I can give him. _

Buffy rose to her feet and walked into the family room full of purpose. As she passed the T.V. Buffy turned it off. "Hey! I was watching that." Whined Liam from the lounge.

"I want to talk to you."

"Okay. About what?"

"Your father."

"My father?"

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I can't say what I want to, thought Buffy looking at her expecting son. The words just won't come out. How do I replay the most horrific moments of my life? Wouldn't I want to die from the pain? Haven't I died already? "Mom?" A voice ripped through my thoughts. "What about my father?"

"Liam…I…don't know how to say…this. It's been so hard for me. The past 10 years…without him. But you deserve the truth…it means the world to me that you're…here. Alive. You mean the world to me. But the pain is still there…it'll never go away. But I want you to share in it. To understand…how important you are. What a miracle you are-"

"But why?" interrupted her son. "Why am I a miracle? Why am I so special? Is it because you're a slayer?"

"No. And also yes." Liam's face scrunched up in confusion. Buffy let out a long breath. "You know nothing about your father, except his name…and how he died. I couldn't tell you myself. I couldn't bring myself to let you know. But I wanted to be the one to tell you. So everyone respected my wishes, they didn't tell you. Neither did I."

"But you are now?"

"Yes. It's been enough time. I have to move forward and stop living in the past. We're here now in the present…and there's only the two of us. I love you so much."

"I love you too, mom." His small hand gripped her own. She squeezed it and smiled faintly. He smiled back. Amazed to find it was much easier to talk, Buffy continued.

"I love your father, have since I first met. March 1997, that was when I first met him. That will be thirteen years next month. And I've loved him for every second of it. There's so much you don't know about your father. I'll tell you what I can; the Gang will share their own stories. Cordy will be a big help, she was there for the year I wasn't.

"He was Angel…the vampire with a soul…"


	4. Part Three

**Part Three                                                      July 14th 2000 (Evening, just after sunset)**

Buffy Summers ran to the ringing phone, she picked up the receiver. "Hello."

"God. About time," said an irritated female voice. "I've been ringing all night. It's been cutting into our research time, which hasn't been very productive-"

"Cordelia?"

"Yes?"

"Why are you ringing?"

"What no 'how are you? I have feeling too you know-"

"Cordelia."

"It's about Angel." At those words it felt as though the world was falling down around her, and she was powerless to stop it. Remaining silent, she looked up at her boyfriend, Riley Finn. _Does it show how worried I am? Does he really know me?_ "Is he okay?" she managed to get out.

"No. It's really bad."

"How bad is really bad?" her voice shaking. "Is he-"

"He's alive, for a vampire."

"Oh, thank God." Buffy legs could no longer support her, she sank to her bed. The college dorm room she shares with best friend Willow Rosenburg was empty besides Riley and herself. Willow wasn't there, as shouldn't be. She was at Washington State spending the summer with relatives. Buffy was only there because Riley and her were going on patrol and needed the weapons there. Otherwise she would be at her mother's. "So what's wrong?"

"He's in some kind of coma."

"Coma. How does a-?"

"We have no idea. Research has come up with nothing. Vampires don't go into comas for no reason, or any reason for that matter."

"Cordelia, what happened?"

"We were all having dinner, Wes, Angel and I. Halfway through explaining how to cut off-"

"Cordelia. Facts please."

"He was talking and he just collapsed. We managed to get him to my bed. He's heavy."

"I remember."

"Yeah, but you have Slayer strength. He wouldn't have been that heavy-"

"Cordelia."

"Right. Okay, that was two days ago. No change. He just lies there. Eyes closed and all but no movement. It's really creepy. We can't figure out how to get him to eat either. I have to sleep in the guestroom. He has like no furniture so he uses mine. He had to buy new clothes and everything. Shopping with Angel, now that's-"

"No clothes and no furniture. What happened?"

"Short version. Evil guys blew up Angel's office. Put Wes in hospital and Angel into my apartment. Fun times we're having, let me tell ya. Especially now, research, research, research and more research. And in our spare time we-"

"Research?"

"Kinda. Wes is trying to get more concrete evidence about Angel's Shanshu."

"His what?"

"Oops. I wasn't supposed to tell you that."

"What it is?"

"A prophecy, about Angel. Sometime in the future…possibly, hopefully him turning…human."

"Human. H-he…human."

"Yeah, pretty cool huh?"

Cordelia continued to explain the final days before his apartment went boom! The days following and the current disaster. Buffy was pretty silent through all of it. Riley sat across from her on Willow's bed, trying to get eye contact. Buffy knew he was looking at her. She deliberately didn't look at him, focusing on Cordelia. At the end of the 20-minute explanation, Cordelia asked if Buffy could come to L.A. and try to bring Angel out of his mysterious coma.

"Yes. Of course. I'll be there in a couple of hours, traffic pending."

"Thank you, Buffy." Slightly surprised to hear Cordelia say that, Buffy smiled.

"No problem. I have to be there, so I'll see you soon." They hung up. Buffy still didn't look at her gazing boyfriend. She flinched at the thought of it. _Riley equals boyfriend. Why can't Angel equal boyfriend? Because it can't. Time to go._ "I have to go."

"Go where?"

"L.A. That was Cordelia, an old friend of mine. She works for Angel." As she still wouldn't look at the ex-Initiative Agent, Buffy didn't see his face tense up and his eyes flare with jealousy and anger, but also knew how he felt about Angel and didn't need to see him to know what he was doing. _And he does have something to be jealous about._ "Angel's in a coma. I have to go and see him."

"Why? I don't understand."

"Neither do I. Vampires don't go into comas. Normally at least and Angel is far from normal-"

"No, I understand that. It's crazy; we live in a crazy world. What I don't understand is why you have to go."

"Because he needs me."

"He's in a coma. He doesn't know what he needs."

"He always need me if I can help. And I believe I can. I can bring him back to us."

"Fine. But if you're going so am I."

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

She hated to admit it, but she didn't want Riley to go with her. She wanted to lie beside Angel and tell him that she loved him and had never stopped. Not for a second. And how she loved only him. Buffy wanted to talk to him about the wonderful times they had spent together. That wonderful day as a human. Even though she remembered when she wasn't meant to and knew that Angel becoming human was possible, Buffy was still shocked to discover there was an ancient prophecy saying that the love of her life will turn human. No happiness clause and no reason not to be together. But at the current time there was a reason they weren't together. More that one actually, Riley, the curse, her mother, her friends and Angel himself. He wants her to have a normal life. And that life was foreign to her. Even Riley. She looked at the man driving beside her. "You know you don't have to do this."

"I want to."

_Yeah, and why is that?_ She wondered. _Is it because he doesn't trust me? Or because he believes I'm not over Angel? If the answer is 'yes,' then he must know me better than I thought._ It has only been in the last few weeks that Buffy realized that she never loved Riley, not in the way he wants. Her heart belongs, and always has, to Angel. Riley is her companion, a really close more than a friend that she happens to have sex with. He takes the loneliness away, well a bit at least. It's nice to know that he loves her, even though she can't reciprocate the feeling. It makes her feel wanted. But at the same time, hates herself for lying to all those dear to her. For the deceiving she's been doing for the past year. That has caused Buffy to question if her friends and mother really know her anymore.

Deciding the car was much too quiet, Buffy turned on the radio. A song blared from the speakers:    
    
    _"-the good times that we had_
    
    _Don't let them slip away from us when things got bad_
    
    _Clearly I first saw you, smiling in the sun_
    
    _I feel your warmth upon me_
    
    _I want to be the one_
    
    _"I will remember you_
    
    _Will you remember me?_
    
    _Don't let your life pass you by_
    
    _Weep not for the memories_
    
    _"I'm so tired I can't sleep_
    
    _Standing on the edge of something much too deep_
    
    _Funny how we feel so much but cannot say the words_
    
    _We are screaming inside oh but we can't be heard_
    
    _"I will remember you_
    
    _Will you remember me?_
    
    _Don't let your life pass you by_
    
    _Weep not for the memories _
    
    _"So afraid to love you more afraid to lose_
    
    _Clinging to the past that doesn't let me choose_
    
    _Once there was a darkness a deep and endless night_
    
    _Gave me everything you had oh you gave me life_
    
    _"I will remember you_
    
    _Will you remember me?_
    
    _Don't let your life pass you by_
    
    _Weep not for the memories_
    
    _"I will remember you_

_Will you-" _

Buffy quickly turned it off. The song reminded her too much of Angel and her. _I don't want to be pining away for Angel when sitting next to my boyfriend, who isn't Angel. _The pair didn't talk for the rest of the journey. Buffy simply starred out her window, watching the scenery change and go by. Riley drove with purpose. Eyes never wavering from the road ahead.

_Hang on, Angel. I'll be there soon, just hold on. _

_I'm on my way._

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Buffy climbed out of the large SUV. Black, government cars usually are, _you'd think they'd be smart enough to change the colour of their cars. Apparently not. _The three-hour journey had been awkward, a few questions and then the directions to Cordelia's apartment. Nice, thought Buffy as she walked toward the front door, Riley by her side. Angel was inside; she could feel him in every cell of her being. The beautiful tingle on the skin, the peacefulness and most of all…the love. As gawky as it sounded, Buffy felt as though she could feel Angel's love for her reach out and envelope her whole. It made her feel…safe. 

Before Buffy even lifted her hand to knock, the door opened. "I'm really happy you're here. First time in a long time, I know." Said a flustered Cordelia Chase. Her dark hair pulled up into a ponytail, and still a style platter.

"Hi, Cordy. How are you?" Buffy asked as Cordelia moved to the side to let them into her home.

"I'm okay. Health wise, perfect. Emotionally, a wreck. Wes' speeches on the impossibility of Angel recovering are not helping."

"Don't imagine they would." Said Riley, sticking out his hand, "I'm Riley Finn, 

Buffy's-"

"Boyfriend. I know, Angel told me." Cordelia shook Riley's hand and looked him over. "Not sure why you are, when Buffy could have Angel. But she's always been strange." Cordelia turned away and begun calling for Wesley. _I can't believe she said that! She said that right? It wasn't just my imagination? _She mouthed 'I'm sorry' to Riley and followed Cordelia to what turned out to be the kitchen. Where Wesley Wyndam-Pryce was making tea. _Typical Brit, always making tea in a time of crisis._

"Hello, Buffy. Riley Finn, I presume?" he said looking at the man beside me. "Wesley Wyndam-Pryce. Pleased to meet you."


	5. Part Four

**Part Four                                                              July 14th 2000 (Around Ten o'clock)**

"…am almost certain, there is no explanation for this sudden coma. And no known way to bring him out of it." said Wesley looking directly at Buffy, who wasn't looking at him. She was staring out of the large open window overlooking the city of Los Angeles. The many bright lights and skyscrapers…the city of angels. "I'm sorry, Buffy. I don't have any other news. We'll keep researching for a way, but I fear the resources-" She had had enough. Buffy rose to her feet and left the three people staring after her. Buffy kept walking until she got to the door of Cordelia's bedroom door. Angel's inside. Her hand gripped the handle; she turned it and was about to push open the door when a hand touched her shoulder. Buffy turned her head, not letting go of the doorknob.

"Riley, what do you want?"

"What are you doing?" He said answering a question with a question. Buffy sighed inwardly. _Please let me do this._ Outwardly she showed no emotion.

"I want to see him. Alone." Buffy pushed open the door, walked inside and closed the door behind her, not once looking at Riley. _He doesn't know me after all. Or else he'd know that I need to see Angel. Speaking of, _Buffy slowly turned around; bracing herself for whatever sight she would fall upon. She gasped.

_Oh, Angel.   _

****

He was much paler than usual. A sickly pale, that reminded her of Graduation from high school when he was dieing from the poison of Faith's arrow. _Is he dieing? _Angel lay flat on his back, arms by his side, head propped up on a pillow…and only taking up half of the queen size bed. Plenty of room for me, she thought as she crossed to the bed. "Oh, Angel," her voice sounded husky. _Is he going to die? _  

"Hi." Greeted Buffy, she lightly touched his forehead. So cold. "I-I hear…people in comas can hear…people talking to them. They know what's going on. That'd be nice if…you could hear me." Buffy's voice no longer worked, the held back tears fought their way out. "I've missed you. You have no idea how much." She bent her head down and brushed her lips against his mouth. Buffy went around to the other side of the bed and crawled over to Angel's side. Finding the spot against his body that seemed made just for her to fit into. Buffy laid her head onto his chest, wrapped her arms around him and held him close. "See…I said I'd be there." Buffy closed her eyes and instantly fell asleep. In the arms of her angel… 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Cordelia glared at the soldier. Who the hell does he think he is? She fumed, he must be in complete denial if he thinks Angel is no threat, but then again…he did come here. Why? Since her recent vision-a-thon, Cordelia has tried very hard to be a nicer person: be more considerate of other people's feelings and maintain what little tact she had. Riley Finn will be the greatest challenge in her life. She'd known him an hour and 40 minutes and she couldn't stand him after the first five. _Where are the mystery, intrigue and danger Buffy likes in her men? Riley's an open book, a boring book._ Thought Cordelia, _maybe Angel leaving Buffy broke her in more ways than one._ Riley then looked up from the open book that lay in front of him. Cordelia didn't bother to look away; she smiled her welcoming million-dollar smile. _God, I'm gonna yak. _He smiled somewhat hesitantly back. _He'd better not think I'm flirting with him._ "How's your researching going, Riley?" _Maybe I will flirt with the deluded sap,_ thought the ex-May Queen, _it could have interesting outcomes. _ 

"Not so well. I'm not even sure I'm reading English, actually." He said gesturing to the pages. "I don't really participate with the research bit. I normally hunt and fight."

"I was always researching…sometimes I carved stakes or stacked shelves. Will, Xander, Giles, Ox and I went through all the musty old books, we found out what it was and how to kill it…then Buffy and Angel would go do just that. Sometimes it was a group thing and we all went to kill it." She paused in her story. "But I bet you can fight real well. All that government training. Does it come in handy to be so fit?" she asked the blushing blonde man.

"Well…uh…you could-"

"Cordelia, could you come here, please?" called Wesley from the kitchen, interrupting the scheme Cordelia was taking part in.

"Sure. I'll be right back." Another smile.

"Not going anywhere."

"No, you're not." Cordelia walked into the stylish kitchen. Upon seeing a quite disapproving ex-Watcher, she glared at him. "What is it?"

"You know very well what it is." Said Wesley. "Don't go prancing around trying to get Riley into trouble with Buffy. Stop flirting and research. Angel's well being should mean more to you than playing mind games."

"Hey, Angel is one of the most important things to me. That's why I was doing that, Buffy doesn't love the guy, and she loves Angel. And Angel was only ever happy when he was with Buffy, not perfectly except for that one time and disaster pretty much followed them around wherever they went…but they were together and they were happy about that. They are meant to be. And anyone can see that Buffy doesn't love the GI Joe wannabe, anyone but him. Maybe someone should make him see the truth." She said all that rather rushed, but her voice low enough to not be heard by Riley.

"It's not your place. Its Buffy's decision when or even him he is to know. Now…could you please go and check on them? I have a phone call to make."

"Sure, fine." Cordelia turned and walked in the direction of her bedroom door. Upon her arrival at the only physical barrier between her and the two ex-lovers, Cordelia didn't really want to intrude…even if they weren't doing anything. It was always strange to be around them when they were together, in the boyfriend-girlfriend way or otherwise. Cordelia, and possibly the others as well, could feel the love coming off of them in waves those years ago when they were still a 'couple.' At first it made her uneasy or nauseous, but after seeing both of them in so much pain after Hell and Angel leaving, for her to see or to feel their complete content with being in each other's presence, the love and understanding…it would be a nice change. Which is why Cordelia didn't want to go into the room and disrupt the mood or something like that. _Hey, but you would love to know if they're laying in each other's arms sound asleep. It would be adorable to see._    

Cordelia, as silently as she could, opened the wooden bedroom door. The instant she saw Buffy and Angel, she knew she had been right all along. Buffy was asleep, with a peaceful dreamy look on her face, her arms wrapped tightly around Angel's torso. Her golden blonde head rested on his chest…and a small hint of a smile on her lips. Angel himself was lying in the same position he had been for the past two and a half days, straight legs and arms by his side…but his face was a bit different. Cordelia had never seen this look on his face, at first it confused her. He looked happy, not perfectly happy or peaceful, but…it was as though he knew she was there. That Buffy was lying next to him with her arms wrapped securely around him. _It was certainly a Kodak moment._ Cordelia smiled faintly.

_It just looks so…right._

She closed the door and left them to themselves, where…for a while they didn't have to pretend anymore.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Where are we?" asked Buffy looking around at their surroundings. She and Angel were standing on a field of grass and wild flowers, bordered by dense woodland. In the background she could hear the crashing of waves onto rocks. _The oceans nearby, she thought to herself, but in which direction?_

"Just a place I always wanted to go with you." Answered Mister Cryptic.

"And why are you in the sunlight and not bursting into flames?" she asked throwing her hand up at the bright sun shining down on them.

"Not sure. And you lied to me…"

"About what?" Angel crossed the few metres between them and lightly touched her face, his hand moving to cup her cheek. Buffy's heart fluttered at the contact with Angel's cool skin.

"You look beautiful in the daylight."

"That's something you didn't say to me when you were human for that one day-" She stopped talking. "Oops. Didn't want to tell ya like that."

"You remember?"

"Every second."

"Oh." His hand dropped from her face, ho took a step away.

"I'm not angry at you." She assured Angel gathering his large hands in her small ones. "I said I understood why you did it…and I did. I still do. I'm happy I remembered. It was the best day of my life, I've never been happier. It was so hard to walk away from you…all I wanted to do was jump you right there. But I couldn't. So I bailed as soon as I could. Although when you killed the Mohra demon, I did want to drive a stake trough your heart, but then I would have felt really bad-"

"I get it. I love you, Buffy.  I know I shouldn't be saying that, we're not together anymore and you now have Riley who you-"

"Don't love."

"What? But you said-"

"Well I lied. I was a bit upset that you thought I was telling the truth. I don't love Riley, Angel. Never had. Never will. I tried too, part of me wanted to…but I couldn't. All I ever wanted was you. I love you so much."

"I love you."

Their faces drew closer. Buffy held her breath…and Angel swooped down and kissed her. She kissed him back.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

**July 15th 2000 (morning)**

Cordelia continued to knock on the door. "Buffy! Are you awake? Are you even clothed? Buffy!" She sighed, "Fine, I'm just going to come in." Cordy turned the handle and pushed open the door. "Don't get angry at me. I at least told you I was going to come in-" She stopped when she saw them asleep, in the exact same position. Huh? "Buffy, wake up." She crossed to the side Buffy was lying on and nudged the Slayer. "Come on, wake up. Riley is getting really annoying." She grabbed the small blonde's shoulders and violently shook her. No response, not even a sound of protest. "Why aren't you waking up?" Cordy rolled the Slayer over. Buffy's eyes are shut; her lips still smiling slightly and still…nothing. "Wesley!"

Within seconds, Wesley was in the doorway. "What is it?"

"Buffy won't wake up."

He came over, shook her yelled…shook and yelled some more. With dread they both realized what had happened. "She's gone, Cordelia."

"But where, and why…and how?"

"It could possibly be, that what has happened to Angel has befallen on her."

"How though?"

"I have no idea."

"But she's gone?"

"She's gone."


	6. Part Five

Right now, I am fully aware that some of you, maybe all of you, were extremely doubtful if this day would ever come. But today has come and I have finally updated 'Awakening Of The Heart.' I hope I don't disappoint any of you with how this fic goes.

To all of you reading this who have been with this fic from the beginning, I'm so grateful, words could not express. You have stuck by this fic, and I think that this trilogy wouldn't have happened if it wasn't for me trying to write a better fic for all of you to read.

And to any newcomers, I hope you like this fic just as much as I have writing it.

And to everyone, please review and tell me what you think of the new parts.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the song 'Tears In Heaven,' Eric Clapton does. Oh, and I don't own any of the characters and what not. Just thought I'd say it again.

===============================================================

**Part Five July 15th 2000 (morning)**

"I love it here." Buffy said softly. "It's so beautiful..."

"It's so much better now that you're here." Angel whispered in her ear. Buffy sighed in happiness and snuggled deeper into Angel's embrace. They were lying together in the field, the wild flowers growing up around them and if Buffy were to stand up, the flowers would reach halfway up her shins. Angel ran his fingers up and down her arms.

_I haven't felt this good in a long, long time. Who would have thunk it? I had no idea two days ago that I would be leaning against Angel's chest, his legs propped up on either side of me, and him lovingly stroking my arms and occasionally kissing my neck. Bliss._

"I never want to leave. It's so peaceful here...and I'm with you and that's all that matters. I don't care if we never go back."

"Me neither." Said Angel wrapping his strong arms around her. _Bliss._

===============================================================

"What do you mean 'she's gone'?" asked a very confused Riley.

"Exactly what it sounds like," snapped Cordelia. In all fairness she shouldn't be at angry with Riley. He had every right to be confused, but he was really beginning to grate on her nerves.

"But I don't understand."

"Neither do we, unfortunately," sighed Wesley. "Buffy could be using their strong connection with Angel to bring him back, or...the same mysterious condition has effected her also. But to be frank, I have no idea, how or why this is happening...to either of them."

"But how do we get her back?" Riley didn't look happy. What don't like 'your' girl having a strong connection with the evil Angel? Poor baby, Cordelia thought in mock sympathy.

"We don't know!"

"Cordelia, no need to-"

"No, Wesley. We have no idea how to get them back. What if we can't? What if, wherever they are, they're together and happy? They might not want to come back-"

"Of course she would want to come back. She's happy with me in Sunnydale-"

"She might look 'happy,' but you weren't around you could see her glowing with sheer bliss. You have never seen her truly happy. You don't make her eyes shine, or her let her guard down and tell you everything. But then again, Angel never had to ask Buffy what she was thinking or feeling, he felt it too. Same with her when it came to him. They are so in tune with each other, if they both were blind, deaf and mute, they'd still know what the other was feeling. You have nothing on them, Riley. You're a birthday candle... Angel's the sun." Cordelia stared straight at Riley Finn, making sure he understood every word. His blue eyes staring back at her. Anger, hurt, sadness, confusion and realization filled his face. Cordelia took a deep breath. "She doesn't love you, Riley."

"You know NOTHING about US!" He screamed leaping off the couch.

"But you do, and you know she doesn't love you-"

"Cordelia, STOP!" Wesley's sudden outburst shocked both of them into silence. "Riley, I think it would be best for all involved if you left. We'll take care of Buffy." He added at Riley's hesitation.

"Yeah, okay. I'll be back in the morning to check on Buffy." And with that he walked out of Cordelia's apartment. Not telling them where he was going or how to contact him in case of emergency.

Cordelia found she didn't care.

===============================================================

Cordelia sat curled up in the armchair. Wesley had gone back to his own apartment for a change of clothes and some more books to pour over. On the CD player was one of the saddest, but most beautiful songs, in her opinion, to be recorded. Cordy didn't want to think about depressing things. The closet thing to a real friend slash brother was lying unconscious on her bed with his ex-lover in his arms, who's also unconscious. Things were great. And listening to a sad song on repeat wasn't helping. Dennis had already turned the music over to something more hip, but Cordelia felt this was a time for being sad and scared. So the music stayed on.

_I wonder what they're doing right now?_ Pondered Cordelia, _are they happy? Is it nicer there then it is here? Must be, or they would be here not there._ The worry and uncertainty of the situation was making her both emotionally and physically exhausted. She didn't get much sleep the night before; in fact Cordelia hasn't had a decent night's sleep since Angel collapsed onto her kitchen floor. _Maybe a few hours sleep will do me some good._ Cordelia propped up the throw pillow under her head, found the most comfortable position to fall asleep in and closed her tired hazel eyes...just as the song begun to play once more...

_Would you know my name if I saw you in Heaven?_

_Would it be the same if I saw you in Heaven?_

_I must be strong and carry on,_

_'Cause I know I don't belong here in Heaven._

_Would you hold my hand if I saw you in Heaven?_

_Would you help me stand if I saw you in Heaven?_

_I'll find my way through night and day,_

_'Cause I know I just can't stay here in Heaven._

_Time can bring you down; time can bend your knees._

_Time can break your heart, have you begging please, begging please._

_Beyond the door there's peace I'm sure,_

_And I know there'll be no more tears in Heaven._

_Would you know my name if I saw you in Heaven?_

_Would it be the same if I saw you in Heaven?_

_I must be strong and carry on,_

_'Cause I know I don't belong here in Heaven._

_'Cause I know I don't belong, here in Heaven..._

===============================================================

"This is heaven." Buffy sighed. Angel pulled her closer to him and rested his head on her shoulder.

"It is, isn't it?"

"Yeah, we are gonna stay here for forever, right?"

"For forever."

Buffy closed her eyes and leant against Angel's chest. The day had been perfect, they had spent the whole time walking and had discovered that they were on an island, an island that seemed to change to meet their needs or wants. As they were walking towards the beach earlier that day, the woods had changed and became a tropical jungle, perfect for a day at the beach with the palm trees and coconuts.

For Buffy this was the perfect life, a one where she was always with the love of her life and where nothing could take him away. There was no Riley, for which she felt guilty enough about and no slaying or demons to worry about. This was the life.

"I love you," she whispered.

"I love you, more," he whispered back.

_Yep, this was the life. _Buffy thought to herself, _I've never been happier, maybe minus that one day where Angel was human, but this seems more permanent somehow. I just hope that when Angel and I leave this place, which I secretly hope is never, that the Gang will accept him back. I don't want the old hate and fear to resurface. Angel and I are both different and older, and we can always try and find a way to make his soul stick._

"What's it like to work with Wesley and Cordy?" Buffy said trying to strike up a conversation without resorting to smooches, _which could be dangerous as Angel's soul is still in danger of being too happy._

"Okay, I guess. Wes is great with the research, kinda like Giles is. Cordelia is...well, Cordelia. She hasn't changed that much, but she genuinely wants to help people, having visions will do that to you."

"Why did she get them?" Buffy asked, Angel had already explained what they were to her but he didn't say how or why she got them. Cordelia Chase was the last person she thought would get visions from the Powers That Be to help people.

"Doyle gave them to her, maybe she was just meant to have them. All things happen for a reason. You and I happened for a reason, us coming here happened for a reason."

"What reason do you think that is?"

"I don't know, Buffy, but I was here by myself, then you came and I couldn't be happier. Does it really matter why it happened?"

"Angel, didn't it ever cross your mind that an evil something did this, to get you out of they way, and it probably knew I would come to the rescue, then it sucked me in as well?"

"No, it didn't. I don't know why this is happening. But I didn't know why I had to become a vampire either, but them I met you and I realized that if I hadn't become a vampire then I would never have met you or loved you."

He made a convincing argument, _you have to give him that._ The slayer thought, _but something about this just doesn't feel right._

"Buffy don't worry about it." Angel turned her to face him, "nothing bad can happen here, you and I are together and that's all that matters. Right?"

"Right."

"Now kiss me."

"Gladly," she said with a smile, and as her lips descended on his own, all thoughts of doubt and fear left her mind. But so did everything else. No thoughts of friends or family, no thoughts of slaying or demons, Angel normally did this true. But it wasn't Angel doing it this time, this time it was something else.

As Angel pulled her on top of him to rest her head on his chest once more, Buffy couldn't remember anything, anything but Angel and that she loved him and he loved her back.

This place wasn't heaven...is was the perfect prison.

================================================================

Okay, so there you have it...Tell me what you think, I should have the next part up in a couple of days, depending on if I get time (I'm going away for the weekend, so it might be on Monday).


	7. Part Six

**Part Six July 15th (afternoon)**

"Miss Morgan, there is a man to see you." Said the stupid office clerk.

"Send him in," replied the evil high paid lawyer, not looking up from her paperwork lying on her desk. Once Lilah Morgan heard the footsteps she lifted her head, _yes, _she thought, _there was someone to see her alright, but this thing was anything but a man, or even human for that matter._

"Miss Morgan, pleased to see you again."

"Enough of the chit-chat, Howard. Is it done?" Her mouth already smirking in victory.

"Yes, it has been done, just as you wished."

"Wonderful, just wonderful."

================================================================

But no matter how much Angel tried to occupy Buffy, she kept wondering about how the others were going and they were going to get out. Angel didn't understand Buffy's will to get out this place, to him it was the closest thing to being in heaven and it wasn't a place where he wanted to leave. _Why does she want to find a way back to LA? I thought she wanted us to be together forever, doesn't she realise that this is the only way we can be truly happy?_

"Angel, are you okay?"

"I'm fine, why?"

"Because you have something face, come one. I'm me, Buffy." She gently held her hands up to my face. "I know you better than you know yourself, tell me, what's up?"

"Nothing, promise. I'm just thinking about stuff."

"Oh, okay. I thought something might have been wrong. Not that what you might have been thinking isn't bad or wrong, or that what you think doesn't matter, because it does-"

"Buffy, you're babbling."

"I was, wasn't I?" Buffy's expression suddenly got darker. "you're supposed to stop me when I do that."

"Sorry, but it's so adorable."

Her mouth turned upwards into an even more adorable smile. "Adorable, huh?"

"Gorgeous."

"You have a way with words Mister."

"When I'm around you I do."

Her smiled melted and she kissed me quickly on the lips. "Did you know that I love you?"

"Yeah. Did you know I love you more?"

"You can't love me more, you'd burst." Buffy said a matter-of-factly.

"Don't worry, I do."

"I'm not worried," her eyes widened. "Do I sound worried?"

"No, not at all."

"Are you just saying that?" she asked peering at me.

"No, I love you more than anything or one in this whole world. I'll never love anyone even close to how I love you."

"What did I do to deserve you?"

"I'm not sure."

She laughed, and Angel loved that sound and he loved that he was the reason for it. "Where did the ever serious guy I knew go?"

"He got more social, you have to be when you're dealing with former May Queen's."

Her smile widened, "was that another joke?"

"Or an attempt at one."

"My god, what happened to you?"

"I started living more."

"I'm glad, this new you is fun. Not that I had a problem with the old one, 'cause I didn't, I promise, it's just-"

"You're babbling, honey." He said softly, but loudly enough for her to hear. She stopped and grinned.

"Well, at least you stopped me that time."

================================================================

"Do yo think they're closer to finding out how to get us back?" Buffy asked her boyfriend – _wait. Is he my boyfriend? Are we together or is this a paradise fling?_

"Who?"

"Wesley and Cor, of course." She looked at him askance, "who else would I be talking about?"

"I don't know, sorry, I was thinking."

"About what?"

"What we are to each other now."

"I was wondering the same thing." She admitted. "I don't want to pressure you into anything and I know you still want me to have a normal life, but it's not gonna happen, ever. So we see each other-"

"Find a spell to bind my soul." Angel interjected.

"Exactly, and then what?" she scrunched up her face in thought, "do I move to LA? Or you move back to Sunnydale, or do we just see each other on weekends? The last on is my least favourite, by the way." Buffy added.

"I'm not sure yet, we can't decide anything just yet. I don't want us to rush."

"Yeah, that not rushing thing worked so well at Thanksgiving." She pointed out, _not that I minded in the tiniest bit, god, who would mind?_

"This time is different, I'm not human and won't be again, unless fate steps in. This isn't just about the rushing, this is about you not getting hurt again-"

"Why, are you planning on leaving me again?" Buffy asked, dreading the answer.

"No, I'm not."

Relief spread through her. "Good, I wouldn't let you leave anyway. You are stuck with me, Mister, for the rest of time."

"Longer than that, honey. Much longer than that."

Buffy sighed in pure happiness and fell into Angel's arms. _I just hope this is going to work. If Angel suspected that I don't want to be here, there's no telling what he's do. _Buffy is smarter than most people give her credit for, it didn't take her long to realize that this place wasn't meant to exist. _You forgot things here, and it took great will power to get them memories back. But Angel doesn't want to leave, he believes that this is the only way we'll be together and happy. It breaks my heart that he feels that way. But there is no changing his mind when it comes to these things. I'll just have to find a way out by myself and hope that he follows._

"I love you," he said.

"I love you, too, Angel." _More than you'll ever know._

_=====================================================_

"Nothing!" yelled the former Watcher from the kitchen table. Cordelia was just making some more tea when Wesley's outburst startled her and she dropped the coffee cup.

"Damn IT!" the former head cheerleader bent down and picked up the broken pieces of the mug.

"Is everything okay?" asked Wesley.

"Yeah," breathed Cordy getting up and placing the broken porcelain onto the counter. _Now for some newspaper, _she thought looking around her lovely kitchen. There was a day old newspaper by the kettle. _Ah uh! _

Cordelia wrapped the sharp pieces in newspaper and threw them away. _Screw the tea, _she thought and walked out of the kitchen and sat herself down in front of a huge pile of books.

"Wesley?" she asked looking around, the former Watcher was nowhere to be seen, _that's funny, I thought I heard him-_

"Yes," he answered popping his head up from behind another pile of old books.

Cordelia yelped, "god, don't do that. You scared me."

"Sorry," he pushed up his glasses.

"So," she started regaining some of her composure. "what where you saying?"

"Oh, the 'nothing.'" Wesley Wyndam-Pryce leant back into the chair and folded his arms across his chest. "There is absolutely nothing in these books to say what has happened to either of them. It's as though they are just sleeping and will wake up at any time."

"But we don't know that, Wes." Said Cordelia. "we don't know if they'll ever wake up, or if they want to. I was thinking, what if it's so nice there, that they won't want to come back here?"

"Then we have a problem-"

"You think?!"

"Cordelia, I know that Angel means a lot to you, but if there isn't a way to get them out from this side, it doesn't mean they can't find a way out."

"You mean, they have to get out?" she asked, uncertain.

"Yes, precisely." Wesley stood up and walked a few steps then turned back to face Cordelia. "it might be up to them to get out, not us." His face changed and became saddened and worried. "I just wished that I could believe that."

"Not helping, Wes."

"I know, and I'm sorry. It seems that not even a former Watcher and all his resources can save the day."

"You've saved the day before, Wes." She said trying to get him to cheer up, _we don't need more depressed brooding people around here._

"I guess, but I just feel-"

"Helpless?"

He nodded and took off his glasses and rubbed the lenses with his shirt. "But since we help the helpless and hopeless, which we are both at the moment, we'll just have to keep trying."

"That's the spirit," but it didn't sound as upbeat as it was meant to. "We're screwed, aren't we?"

"Yes, I think so."

=================================================================

Okay, I know I said that I wouldn't update for a few days, but I couldn't resist. You know the deal, read and review!


	8. Part Seven

**Part Seven July 15th (evening)**

Buffy was walking around the perimeter of the field, thinking about what to do next. About an hour ago she had asked Angel why he didn't want to stay, '_I don't know why you want to leave so badly, Buffy. Isn't it great here? It's beautiful and I'm in the sunlight and there is no one here to save or fight. We can just be together and it's wonderful. I don't want to go back to a place where we have to say goodbye.'_

Buffy felt a tear slide down her cheek, she wiped it away with her sleave, _why does it have to be so hard to love him? _But that didn't matter right now, what mattered was that Buffy had to find a way out of here, with or without Angel's help.

She thought that this place was heaven, the most amazing place to be, where she and Angel could spend the rest of time together. But it's a prison, a hell to hold two warriors for good, to keep them out of the way so that evil can have the upper hand. _But when hasn't it? Okay, harsh, it hasn't always had the advantage. Sure evil seems a lot cooler and an easier way to live, but that doesn't make it right. Good always fought back and I have always stopped the world from ending._

_Which you'll never do again unless you find a way out of here._ Buffy looked around her, keeping an eye out for Angel, she told him that she wanted to take a walk and that he should relax and stay at the beach, it was easier to get rid of him than she thought. With all due respects, Buffy loved Angel with all her being but right now, he was also the thing trying to keep her here. _And that can't happen._

It surprised her when she discovered that Angel was the tool keeping not only himself here but her too, whenever he would kiss her or hold her in his arms, all the doubt and worry would vanish. But so would thoughts of her friends and mother in Sunnydale. _He's a part of the spell. Angel doesn't want to leave and he's keeping me here._

Buffy fell to her knees, the grass and wild flowers nearly covering her body completely from view. _God, how cold this be happening? It's supposed to be so perfect here, so magical and wonderful. Not a prison or a hell. What am I going to do? How the hell am I going to get out of here? What if Angel doesn't come back at all?_

_Would it be better to stay here and lose myself, but still remember at times? Or to go back to the 'real world' and be without him forever?_

In an instant she had made up her mind.

"Angel, we have to talk."

"Buffy," he stood up and turned. Buffy was standing on the edge of the forest, looking a him with an expression that looked as though someone had just died.

Angel was standing in the water, near where the waves would break, he walked toward her, she also took a few steps toward Angel. He was puzzled by her behaviour, _I just hope it's not about getting out of this place._

"We have to talk." She repeated.

"What about?"

"Getting out of here."

"Buffy-"

"I know you don't want to." She cut in, "but this place is killing us both."

"I feel fine. Do we look like we're dying?"

"Not physically, but mentally. Our minds are dying, don't you get it? This is not heaven."

"Of course it is. Okay maybe not _the _heaven, but pretty close to the real thing."

"Yeah, close, close to being the opposite! Angel, they are keeping us here! To stop us from doing whatever we are meant to be doing. Evil has us as their prisoners!"

"You are crazy. We aren't prisoners, and evil didn't put us here-"

"Then what did, the tooth fairy?" said Buffy getting angry.

"There is no such thing as the tooth fairy. That's made up, Buffy."

"Some people think vampires and demons are made up, but we know differently, Angel." She walked until she was right in front of him. "I know you want to believe this is a wonderful place, but it isn't. This is not heaven or paradise."

"Why are you being this way?"

"Because we don't belong here."

"We don't belong back there either."

"Of course we do, how can you think that?"

"How can I not!" He yelled, Buffy took a step back in slight fear. "I don't belong anywhere, Buffy. But when I'm with you, I feel like...maybe I do have a place in the world."

"You do, but it's not just with me. You're a champion, a warrior for good. That is your place, your destiny-"

"No, my destiny is with you!"

"And you think you can't have that back home? You're the one who left, Angel. Not me. I stood there watching you walk away from me, you left, you made the choice and you are going to have to deal with it like I have. Everyday it hurt like hell, and everyday I didn't call you to tell you to come home, to come to me. But guess what Angel? You didn't either."

"I left for a reason, you know this."

"I do. But I still don't understand it." Buffy took a few steps closer to Angel. "We don't belong here. If anywhere, you belong in LA, fighting the bad guys. Without me."

"I don't want to fight alone anymore."

"Me either." Her eyes welled with tears, "but we can't fight together if we're here. And we can't fulfill our destinies here either."

"I don't want to leave."

"I know you don't. But I am, Angel. I'm leaving."

"This is a switch." He gave a short laugh. "This time it's you doing the leaving."

"Angel, this isn't funny-"

"Oh, I think it is."

"Don't you get it? I've already left!" She cried.

"What? But you're still here."

"Not all of me, a part of me is in LA. I figured out how to get out of here, you have to want it more than anything, even me."

"You don't want to be with me."

"Not here! Not where I can't see my friends, my mom, Giles. I belong there, so do you. All you have to do is want it."

"I can never want anything more than I want you."

"I know, it's hard. I didn't think I could want anything more than you either, but I made up my mind. More than anything I want my life to be with you...in LA. You have to want it too."

"Buffy..." He was staring at her figure. It had begun to fade, Buffy looked down and saw her semi-transparent body. She smiled sadly at him, tears falling from her eyes. "Don't..."

"See, I told you I was gonna go."

"Please..."

"Just want it."

And she was gone, Angel ran forward to grab her, but Buffy had faded into nothing. It felt as though she was waking up. But as Buffy regained consciousness, she could still hear Angel calling her name.

Thanks to everyone who reviewed the last few parts, but I unfortunately have some bad news, I won't be able to update for about two weeks (I know, I know), but school is a real pain right now and I have exams in a few weeks, so all fic will be put on hold till then. Hope you like this part, Maddy


	9. Part Eight

**Part Eight July 15th (evening)**

Buffy groaned as she opened her eyes, a quick look around the room told her that she was still in Cordelia's house, and still in the bed next to Angel. _Oh, Angel..._She looked sadly down at her love, hoping to see him open his beautiful eyes and smile up at her. But he didn't, Buffy sighed and sat up properly getting back her bearings.

The room blurred as her head spun, the extreme dizziness caused her to lie back down, _how long was I gone? _The Slayer thought to herself, _and how long till Angel comes back? Don't think about it, don't think about it. He'll come back, he always did._

Buffy's head was back to normal, so she tried once more to get up off the bed. The ground felt good beneath her feet and with one firm push, she'd gotten to her feet. The room only moved a bit, and there was no dizzy spell. _Thank goodness._

Just as Buffy was walking towards the door, she heard footsteps and a few seconds later Cordelia Chase walked passed the doorframe. Buffy held her breath, waiting for Cordelia's reaction, but the former head-cheerleader kept walking and didn't even see Buffy standing up. Buffy frowned, but then shrugged, and continued to walk slowly to the door, hoping to not fall over as her legs were still a little shaky.

Then suddenly Cordy's head popped into view. She screamed and came tearing into the room. "OH, MY GOD!" And then the girl threw herself at Buffy, her arms wrapped tight around her, the force nearly made them both topple to the floor. "You're awake, you're awake!"

"Yep," choked Buffy, trying to breathe. _Damn, she's pretty strong._ "You can let go now."

"Sorry," she let go and took a step back to observe her sort of friend. "How?"

"I'll explain later, promise. But right now-"

"I've gotta call Wesley, he went back to his place to get some more books, we've been trying to get you out of there for hours-"

"What do you mean hours?" the Slayer asked, "how long was I gone?"

"Less than 24 hours, we're pretty sure. You left while you were asleep last night."

"What's the date?"

"The 15th, it's about seven o'clock at night now. Hey, you hungry?"

"Not really."

"You sure, I could ring for pizza."

"On second thought why not, this body hasn't had any food for a day, so maybe that's a good idea."

"Sure," she turned and walked out of the room, at the doorway, Cordelia turned back to Buffy. "It's really good that you're awake."

"Thanks, Cordy." Replied Buffy giving her a small smile. Cordelia gave one in return and continued to walk to the kitchen, where the phone could be found.

Buffy didn't follow, but walked back to the bed and sat on the edge looking at Angel as he slept soundly. His chest not rising, which has oddly enough never freaked her out, no breath from his lips, he looked dead. Buffy gave herself a mental shake, _don't think like that, he looks beautiful..._She smiled contently to herself and moved a strand of hair from his forehead, and kissed him firmly on the lips.

"You have to wake up, Angel." She told him, not expecting a reply. "You _have_ to wake up."

When nothing happened, she had to admit, she did in a way expect him to wake up, and smile one of those half-smiles that made her heart skip a few beats. Then say "hey." But nothing happened, nothing, a whole lot of nothing.

_Don't be disappointed, you don't need to be. He'll come back when he's ready. But when will that be?_ Buffy rolled her eyes at the drama, _it'll be okay, it will be okay. He'll wake up and everything will be okay, we'll be together and he'll always love me and never leave._

Suddenly, the slayer burst into tears and collapsed against Angel's chest. "You have to come back, I can't do it without you."

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

"Buffy, Wesley's on his way, and I called the pizza guy, they'll be here-" Cordelia stopped talking, "Buffy?" The slayer wasn't there in the room where Cordy had left her. Only Angel was in the room, and he was in the exact same place he'd been for days. _So where's Buffy?_

"Buffy?"

"Cordelia," replied Buffy as she walked out of the ensuite/bathroom.

Cordelia jumped slightly, "there you are, don't scare me like that."

"Sorry," Buffy apologized, she sat back down next to Angel's still form. _Doesn't she fin this creepy at all, here we are having a conversation, and she's sitting next to her unconscious ex-boyfriend. Our lives are so screwed up._

"It's okay, really. The pizza guy will arrive in about 40 minutes, if you feel like eating, that's when it'll be happening. I have no other edible stuff in the apartment, sorry."

"It's okay, not that hungry at the moment anyway."

"Really, but you didn't get any food for over a day."

"I know, maybe it's because I'm the slayer or because that spell made it so I didn't need food or drink..." the usually perkier slayer, was suddenly looking as though someone had died. _Which, knowing our lives, wouldn't be surprising._

"That's a plus, I guess."

"Uh huh." Said Buffy, absent-mindedly.

Cordelia was worried about her behaviour, she seemed so distant, like a small part of her was still in the place where Angel was. Cordy's heart broke for her sort of friend, _her life sucks so bad._ She wished that she could help in some way, _just give me a sign! _She asked whoever was listening.

No answer. But did she really expect the answer to just appear, _no, 'cause that would mean it was easy, and we can't have that now, can we?_

"So, Buffy..." started Cordelia, trying so hard to make conversation. "What do you want to do till Wesley gets here?"

"I'm not sure, but I think I want to be alone," she cast a glance at Angel. "With him, if that's okay?"

"Sure, no problem." Cordelia rose to her feet, "just don't stake him."

That made the slayer smile, even if it was just a really little smile. She looked up at Cordelia's face, looking directly into the brunette's eyes. Cordy saw that Buffy had been crying. "Don't worry, I won't."

Cordy gave her a slight nod and left the room.

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Buffy watched as Cordelia left her own bedroom. _How strange it must be, to have a vampire unconscious on your bed, and his girlfriend at your house. Hold on, she doesn't know about me and Angel being back together. Of course not, _she told herself firmly, _you haven't told her, and she's not a mind reader! Should I tell Cordy about Angel and I being a couple again?_

She looked for answers from Angel, even though he didn't make any sort of reply, the answer came to her. _If I have to._

Buffy didn't really want to talk to Wesley, or Cordy about what happened in that hell prison, she was never very forthcoming when it came to her feelings about Angel. It wasn't a thing she talked to people about, once upon a time, Buffy might have told Willow, but now that Will thinks she's happy with Riley, she doesn't want to talk about Angel to her.

_Oh, my god! _Riley! _Shit! What am I going to tell Riley?! _Buffy stood up, and started pacing Cordelia's bedroom. _Oh, no. How could I not think about Riley? What is wrong with me? Sure I don't love him like I love Angel, but I care about him, and should have thought about my _BOYFRIEND_ before getting back together with my_ EX-boyfriend!_ I can't believe this is happening! What am I going to tell him? 'Sorry, but I was trapped in hell with my ex and we decided to get back together, but I hope we can still be friends.' Yeah, that'll go down well. I know Riley can't stand Angel, okay I'm pretty sure Riley hates Angel, there is no way he is going to take this break up well._

She stopped pacing and lent against the wall, watching Angel's still form. _It doesn't matter what Riley does. What matters is that I'll be with Angel._

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Okay, so that's the newest part, I know not much happened, but I needed to established some things in this parts for future parts. Thanks, and please review!!!


	10. Part Nine

**Part NineJuly 15th (evening)**

"Buffy, Wesley's here!" came Cordelia's voice from the dining room.

"Coming!" yelled back the slayer. She got up off the bed, gave Angel a quick kiss on the lips and walked out to the dining room.

"Hello, Buffy. How are you feeling?" asked her former Watcher.

"Okay." She sat down in one of the chairs and rested her elbows on the table top. "I know that you're dying to ask my questions, the both of you," she said looking at them in turn. "So, why don't you just ask away."

"Are you sure, we don't want to intrude?" asked Wesley.

"No, it's fine." Said Buffy, with a wave of her hand. "Ask."

"Okay," Cordelia sat in the chair opposite Buffy. "What was it like?"

"It was a beautiful place, magickal, if you wanted something, it would just appear. You never got hungry or tired or thirsty. The scenery would change all the time, if you wanted to go to the beach, a beach would appear...anything."

"It sounds nice." Said Cordy.

"It was, until I realised what it was doing."

"What do you mean?" inquired Wesley.

"It was a prison. I could remember here, Sunnydale, my friends, me being the slayer, all of it at first. But as soon as Angel first kissed me, I would begin to forget. And every time after that, I would forget more and more, all I could remember was that I loved him and he loved me back, that's all that mattered." She felt the tears begin to form in her eyes, she blinked a few times and went on. "but I went swimming and Angel didn't want to, so he sat up on the beach, and in the water, I remembered, everything. After that I asked Angel if he remember, he said that he did, but that he didn't want to. That hurt. I tried talking to him about it, but he kissed me again. I forgot, it wasn't for hours later that I remember again. I told him that some evil was keeping us here to keep us out of the way. He didn't believe me."

"How did you get out?" asked Cordy.

"I realised that the place had a kind of loop hole. I said before that anything you wanted would happen, so all I did-"

"Was want to get out." Finished Wesley.

"Yeah, that's pretty much it."

"But you left him there!" said Cordelia.

"Now, Cordelia-"

"No, she says she loves him, but then she leaves him there. What if he never comes out now?"

"He will." Said Buffy firmly.

"How do you know that?"

"Because, Cordelia, what Angel wants more than anything, is to be with me, he doesn't care where." She lent forward slightly, "he didn't want to leave because he believes it's perfect, but for Angel, being with me is perfect, too perfect. But, it doesn't matter to him where I am, just as long as he's with me too. That's why I know he'll come back to us, it's because I'm here, and he wants to be with me."

"Okay, say that you're right. How come he's not back yet? You've been here for a while now." Cordelia was getting annoyed.

"Time moves differently there, slower, sometimes faster. Again, it's what you want. If we wanted it to be day, it would be day, but if we wanted it to be night, then it would be night. I don't know what's going on there anymore, since I'm here and not there." Buffy sighed, "I don't know when he'll come back."

"Great, just great." Cordelia huffed and folded her arms across her chest.

"This is all very intriguing." Said Wesley, thoughtfully. Both girls gave her a withering glare. "Yes, well...Buffy, you said that you believe evil trapped you both in there."

"Yeah, a spell maybe."

"Hmmm..." he said to himself, and got up and walked to a pile of books on a small table at the other side of the room.

"Riley's not here."

"Oh, why not?"

"He got fed up and walked out this morning, not long after we found you had gone catatonic-"

"I was not catatonic."

"Whatever, well he left and said he'd be back tomorrow to find out if you were awake. I don't know where he went, he didn't say. He didn't even leave a number for us to contact him on, you don't have a great choice in boyfriends, you know."

"Cordelia. Shut up." She didn't really want to deal with the ex cheer leader right now, there was enough on her mind.

"Sure, fine, whatever. People are always telling me to shut up." She rolled her eyes and walked into the kitchen. Buffy could hear the cupboards opening and closing. She felt bad for Cordelia, she hadn't meant to be so frank with her, but she doesn't need this extra aggravation. Wesley continued to look through books, flicking the pages, pausing, saying something to himself and then he would keep looking through the pages. Buffy felt more distant from these people as every second passed.

Her gaze wondered back to the hallway that led to Cordelia's bedroom. _Being so near Angel, and not being able to talk to him is driving me nuts_, she thought. _I need to get out of here. I _want _to get out of here._ Buffy sat there for a moment, _should I leave them a letter, just tell them that I need some air, or just get up and walk out? Okay, the last option is probably the worst. I'll just tell them, well Cordy, Wesley looks busy._

Buffy got out of her chair and walked into the kitchen, Cordelia was resting against the bench top holding a cup of coffee in her hands, _on second thoughts, it might be tea._

"Umm, Cordy?"

"Yeah."

"I'm sorry about before, I shouldn't have snapped at you like that."

"Thanks."

"I'm just gonna go out for a while, okay?"

"Yeah, I guess."

Buffy took a closer look at the former-cheerleader. She didn't look good, like she hadn't gotten sleep for days, _which is a possibility_¸ Buffy's heart went out to her, _I guess her and Angel are closer than I realised. _Buffy felt the sting of jealousy, _don't be stupid, Angel loves you more than anything. You've got nothing to worry about. _She managed to convince herself, smiled at Cordelia and walked back into the living room where her handbag was. Once she slung it over her shoulder, Buffy walked out of the apartment.

_**(scene break)**_

It was late, and when her stomach rumbled, Buffy realised that she never ate any of that pizza. _And now I'm hungry._ The downfall of being in a hell dimension, no food for the body. Buffy mumbled to herself looking around the bust street. Annoyed, hungry and fearful, _what am I going to do about Angel? Stop it! _She told herself, _you need to eat, not think about Angel, oh yeah, that'd work. I don't think I've _not _thought about Angel for as long as I've known him._

Across the street was a small café, she remembered that her mother used to take her there when she was younger. Joyce had always made her sit really still, and not to talk too loud, 'cause that's what people do in cafés: speak softly and drink their coffees and slices. It always amazed her how her mother could go there nearly everyday and not get sick of it. _Ah, well. I might as well go and eat something there, it's a good thing I have money._

While in the cafe eating her caramel slice and drinking her cappuccino, Buffy felt a pang in her heart at the sight of a young couple walking into the store. _Angel and I can never do that, have never done that and never will. Is this type of pain worth having our relationship? Not having a life away from demons and Hellmouths, being just a girl and a boy. But it will never happen. He'll always be a vampire, unless of course he turns human 'cause of that prophecy. But who knows when that will happen. I'm trying to be an optimist about it, but things have never came easy when it comes to Angel and I, sometimes there is a price and sometimes things never happen at all._

_**(scene break)**_

"Who is it?"

"Buffy, open the door Wes."

She heard him say something to himself, that the Slayer didn't quite catch. The door opened and there stood Wesley, dishevelled looking and tired. She cringed, "you should get some sleep, you know."

"I will," he said with a soft smile. "When this is all over." He added.

"I know the feeling."

"Um, Buffy...there's something that you need to know."

She put down her bag, and looked into his eyes. "What is it?"

"Well, you see-"

"Buffy."

"Riley." Before she could react, the army commando rushed at her and pulled Buffy into a tight embrace. She didn't want to be in his arms, not anyone's arms. Only Angel's. but, sadly, she couldn't say or do anything. "It's you."

"It's me, and you're you. You're okay, they told me you were, but I couldn't believe them till I saw for myself." He pulled back, and tried to kiss her on the lips. The slayer dodged him and went around him to stand far away from her 'boyfriend.' "Buffy, what's wrong?"

"Nothing, I'm just a bit tired...and I don't-"

"It's okay. Later."

"Yeah, later." She said, hoping on the inside that later would never come. "Umm...where's Cordy?"

"Here." said the ex-May Queen stepping into the lounge room. "you okay, Buff?"

"Yeah. Is Angel-"

"No awake, yeah." She looked sadly at her hands, "he's still unconscious."

"Damn it." Buffy collapsed into the soft couch, and held her head in her hands. "Why won't he wake up?"

"As you said, time moves differently there." Said Wesley is some hope of trying to make the poor girl feel better.

Buffy just nodded slightly, and continued to look at the ground.

"Yo, Soldier Boy, I thought you weren't coming till tomorrow." Said Cordy sitting next to Buffy.

"I, well, I wanted to see how Buffy was doing. I got scared and had to come over. You weren't gone for long."

"It was four days there." Replied Buffy

"Really. Four days with your ex. So what did you do? Or should I say-"

"Don't." Buffy lifted her head to look at Riley. "I don't want to do this now. I have to find a way to get Angel back, and not for myself. There is no Angel and I, do you understand?"

"No, not entirely. I don't get what you see in him?"

"Riley, I said that we weren't going to do this."

"Well when are we, you never talk about him. How is that supposed to make me feel? I don't know what you felt or feel for this demon, if you had the choice you would have never told me about him."

"God, Riley. Can you get over yourself for one second?!" yelled the Slayer jumping to her feet. "I have told you all I can about my past with Angel. I haven't told Will or Xander everything about my past with him. It's my past, and it's the past, you know the type that's over." _Please let him believe me, please let him not see how badly I want to be with Angel. _

"Then how come I don't feel that safe in our relationship anymore?"

"Just stop it, we're in my friend's home and we are not going to have a fight about us now."

"Well, when are we? When it's convenient for you? When you feel like it? Buffy, we need to talk about this, it's not just going to go away."

"I know this, Riley. But we are not doing this here. when we get back to Sunnydale, then we'll talk about us."

"Buffy..." there stood Angel. Standing just a few feet behind Wesley, who was now starring at the vampire in shock, as was everyone else in the room. "Buffy..."

"Angel, how...?" asked the bewildered Slayer.

"I had to want it, remember."

Her eyes welled with tears, "I remember." Before anyone or thing could stop her, she ran at Angel and leapt into his open arms. "I remember, I remember, I remember."

"I thought I lost you."

"You can never lose me, you've got me for life." She grinned, "I mean your existence...whatever."

"I love you."

"I love you, too." Buffy pulled back just a bit. "So much."

Angel half-smiled and lent forward to kiss her on the lips, his lips were only inches from hers when Riley yelled: "what the hell is going on here?!"

_**(THE END)**_

Sorry it took so long to update, hope you liked, please tell me if you did, Maddy


	11. Part Ten

**Hello, and I'm sorry to all those people who though this fic was finished, I know I said (THE END) at the end of the last part, I don't know what was going through my brain when I typed that. Okay, so here's the next part, hope you like!**

**Part 10July 15th (evening) **

_Love took me by the hand_

_Love took me by surprise_

_Love led me to you_

_And love opened up my eyes_

"Riley...I-I, oh god. I'm sorry. It's just that-"

"You'd rather be with this freak, than with a human?"

"Don't you dare call him a freak!" Angel had to hold the slayer back. "Angel, let me go!"

"No, you can't do this."

"Buffy, he's right." Said Cordelia, she shot Riley a dirty look. "No matter how much he may deserve it."

"So, you all side with monsters-"

"No, but we do side with our friends." Said Wesley, stepping into the argument.

"I don't believe you people. Are you actually people?"

"Yes. More that you at least." Snapped Cordelia. "How dare you come here and talk to Angel like that-"

"Cordy, you don't need to defend me-"

"He was under a spell and all Buffy wanted to do was help him come back to us, and you're all 'me, me, me. I, I, I,' 'Buffy doesn't love me' and 'Angel's a monster,' well I've had it up to here-" the extremely pissed of brunette put her hand to the side of her head "-with the way you've been treating us, and I think you'd better leave."

"Excuse me?"

"Get out of my house."

"Fine." He looked at Buffy, who was still in Angel's arms, they were softly talking to each other, and hadn't been paying much attention to the others. "Buffy, we're going."

"We, who's 'we'?" asked the blonde facing the other blonde.

"You and me, we're going back to Sunnydale." He said like she was a small child who needed to be told what to do. "Now."

"Since when did you start ordering me around?"

"When you lost all reason." He made a gesture to Angel. "How can you be with him? Don't you love me?"

"I tried, I'm sorry, but I couldn't-"

"Just forget it. I don't ever want to see you again. You too," he added to Angel. "If I ever see you again, I will kill you." And with that Riley left the apartment.

"Well...that was interesting." Said Wesley supporting himself with the table. "Let's not do that again for a while."

"Longer." Said Cordy. "Buffy, could you not bring your crazed, jealous boyfriends with you next time you visit?"

"Sure, no problem." Said the slayer with a grin. "Not a problem at all."

"Oh, god." Mumbled Cordy at the sight of Buffy and Angel making eyes at each other. "You two need to get a room-" she realised what she had said. "No, wait. You two and a room equals bad."

"I don't think that'll be a problem anymore, Cordelia." Said Angel.

"And why not? Nothing's changed, there's still the curse."

"A lot has changed. I have to breath for starters."

"You have to what?"

"Breath, I believe he said." Wesley stood up straight and walked over to his friend, who still held the Slayer in his arms. Buffy was starring at Angel, tears running down her face, and yet she had never looked so happy. "But how?"

"I don't know. I just woke up and needed to breath."

"Angel, this is amazing." Said Cordelia in awe.

"Yeah, it is. It feels like it did the last time, only this time I feel better about it."

"The last time?" asked a confused Wesley.

"I'll explain later." Replied Cordy.

"Buffy?" asked Angel softly. The slayer was still just starring at Angel, tears still running down her cheeks, her eyes wide and alive. "Buffy? Are you oka-"

"I love you, Angel." She said suddenly.

Angel smiled down at her. "I love you, Buffy."

"We should probably go." Said Cordelia, grabbing Wesley. "We'll see you two love birds later."

"Okay."

"Sure."

But neither vampire nor slayer was really paying any attention to the Seer and Ex-Watcher. They were too wrapped up in themselves.

"I heard that you were single." Said Angel.

"I'm not single."

"But Riley and you, you just-"

"Like I said, I'm not single."

"Huh?"

"Angel, are you always this clueless? I'm not single, because you're my boyfriend." She paused for a second. "you are my boyfriend, right?"

"I think so. Are you my girlfriend?"

"I want to be."

"Good, I want you to be."

"Is this really happening?"

"It better be."

"Can we stop talking?"

"Yeah." Angel scooped her into his arms, she squealed in delight. "Let me love you." He whispered in her ear.

**July 16th (morning)**

_And I was drifting away_

_Like a drop in the ocean_

_Now I realize_

_That nothing has been as beautiful_

_As when I saw Heaven's skies_

_In your eyes_

_In your eyes_

Buffy awoke in a strange bed, she sat up with a start, as did Angel.

"What is it? What's wrong?"

"Nothing...I, ah, just forgot where I was for a moment. It's okay."

"Yeah, it is."

She sighed and fell back into his arms, _god, this is heaven._ Angel slung his arm across her waist, and the other was under her shoulder, holding her close. Buffy rested her head on his now non-silent chest. She knew that she'd felt his heart beat before, and that he had been human before, but this time felt different, less scary and nervous. This felt like it would last.

"Good morning." He said.

Buffy chuckled, "good morning."

"What do you want to do today?"

"We have to introduce you to more food, and the sun, and beaches, Ferris wheels, roller coasters, water slides, video games-"

"What? No way, I'm not doing those things, the food and sunlight maybe, but not the other stuff."

"Oh, come on, it'll be fun. I'll show you the world."

"You already have."

She was silent for a minute. "How do you always know what to say?"

"I'm not sure. It may be age. I am pretty old you know?"

"I know, but thank god you don't look 245. It'd be very hard to explain to people why my boyfriend looks ancient."

"I am rather good looking."

"You've been able to see your reflection for 12 hours and already you're as vain as Cordelia."

"I wouldn't go that far."

"You're right, I'm sorry. I take it back."

He kissed her on her head, "what do you want for breakfast?"

"I've always wanted you to get me breakfast in bed. How about eggs, bacon, toast and orange juice?"

"I'll go see if Cordy has that stuff-"

"Wait a minute, since when did you start calling her Cordy?"

"I don't know. I just do." He peered down at her, "why?"

"Nothing, just wondering." Inside she wasn't just wondering, she was jealous. "So breakfast, how's that coming?"

"Buffy, are you avoiding?"

"No...maybe...yes." She rolled over to face him. "Can I keep avoiding?"

"Fine, but only for a little while."

"That works for me." She pulled herself up to kiss him on the lips. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

"I'm getting hungry, and you probably are too. You haven't eaten yet since you became human, and I won't have my boyfriend die of hunger." She smiled, "that'd be very ironic, and stupid."

"Yes, it would. I'll go make breakfast, you...do whatever you gonna do." Buffy slid off him and he sat on the end of the bed, reached for his pants and slid them on. Angel turned back to give his girl another quick kiss. "I'll be back soon."

"Quick, go. If you don't leave now, neither of us will get to eat."

**July 16th (still morning) **

_And everytime I drift away_

_I lose myself in you_

_And now I see that I can be me_

_In everything I do_

"What do you think they're doing right now?"

"Wes, I could do without the imagery."

"No one is asking you to visualise. I was merely asking what you thought they were doing."

"Besides each other, you mean."

"Cordelia, they don't just have that on their minds."

"Oh, I'm sure they do." She passed the Watcher his tea and then sat down beside him. "Okay, maybe that's not all they think about, but they have been apart for over a year, it's gotta be hard for them. But not at the same time, like they can finally be free."

"Well, that was a very nice thing to say."

"Don't go spreading it. My rep would be ruined."

"And what reputation would that be?"

"Hey, what's with mean Wesley?" she asked askance

"I'm not being mean, I'm merely feeling happy and relaxed." He blew on his tea and took a sip. "It's nice that they can finally be together."

"It is nice, just as long as the world doesn't end because of it."

"I don't think that will be happening, he isn't cursed, he's human and nothing more or less. The world won't be ending because he and Buffy can be together. In any sense."

"I don't want him to get hurt."

"I know you don't. But don't you think it's up to Angel what he wants to do with his life?"

"No...I guess. I am happy for them, I swear. But I was there through all their tortured love saga, and I don't want a repeat." Cordy re-gripped the cup in her hand, the coffee was nice and hot. "I know that they really love each other, but it just shows us pathetic singles that we won't get what they have."

"We're not pathetic, and we choose to be single."

"Uh ha. I totally believe you." She said her voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Think of it this way, we're just waiting for the right person who can handle what we do for a living. We just have to find them."

"But they did find that someone, they found each other 4 years ago."

"Yeah, but Angel didn't have someone to love for over 250 years before that, Buffy was only 16 when they met, sure, but, they were still alone."

"No they weren't, they were always with each other. They just hadn't found each other yet." She glared at Wesley. "Just because I just agreed with you doesn't mean anything."

"Yes, of course," his voice sarcastic.

"And look what you've done to me! I'm turning into a mushy romantic!"

Wesley laughed and took another sip from his tea.

**July 16th (afternoon)**

_'Cause I was feeling as small_

_As a drop in the ocean_

_And now I realize_

_That nothing has been as beautiful_

_As when I saw Heaven's skies_

_In your eyes_

_In your eyes_

Riley walked into the dank and dark bar. The patrons didn't look up, only the barkeep's gaze wandered over to where Riley was standing near the entrance. _It really was a hole._ Thought the soldier, _a wonderful establishment where I can drown my sorrows_. He made his way over to the bar and sat down in one of the vacant stools. The barkeep came walking over with a towel in his hand rubbing clean a beer mug. _That's image is such a cliché._

"What do ya want?"

"Anything with a lot of alcohol in it."

"Ya girl dump ya?"

"She was never my girl."

"Ah, that's a shame, mate. Real shame that, aren't women pains in the arse?"

"Not all of them."

"You're right, let me get you some scotch, that'll dull the pain."

"Only until I sober up."

_Love took me by the hand_

_Love took me by surprise_

It was mid afternoon, Buffy ran from the ice-cream truck to where she and Angel had set up their picnic blanket along with the food. _Which we've nearly completely eaten. Angel is just as bad as Xander at eating food. It's hard to believe that less than 24 hours ago, Angel hadn't eaten real food for years._

"Here you go." Said Buffy, passing her lover his double choc ice-cream cone. Angel greedily took in and began eating it. "Slow down, you'll get brain freeze."

"Huh?"

"It happens when you eat something really cold too fast, like ice-cream. Your brain hurts and goes kinda numb." Explained the Slayer as she sat down beside him on the picnic blanket. "It'd be good to avoid it, unless of course you want to see how it feels. Then that'd be one more thing to cross off the list of things Angel needs to experience."

"I don't think it matters, I think my brain is freezing over."

Buffy laughed. "It doesn't feel great, does it?"

"No." He held his head in his hand. "When does it go away?"

"In a few seconds, don't worry, it won't kill you."

"It sure feels like it could." He looked back up at her. "It's going away now."

"See, all better." Buffy gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. "What do you wanna do now?"

"I don't know. Beside, weren't you going to be my guide to life?"

"I know I said that, but it's your turn to choose what we do next."

"Okay, let me think." Angel pondered for a few seconds, while Buffy began eating her double choc mint ice-cream. "Okay, how about we go to the pier?"

"You mean you want to go on a Ferris wheel and try and win a stuffed toy from those money eating side shows?"

"Yeah, I've never been to one before for fun. But there was this one time where I had to fight these-"

"Angel, you can tell me the story later. I'm sure it involves a lot of demons and screaming people. But since you want to go to the pier, we'd better go back to Cordy's and get ready, we'll spend the rest of the day there having fun."

"Wonderful, let's go."

_And I was drifting away_

_Like a drop in the ocean_

_And now I realize_

_That nothing has been as beautiful_

_As when I saw Heaven's skies_

_In your eyes_

_In your eyes_

_In your eyes_

_In your eyes_


	12. Part Eleven

**Part ElevenJuly 16th (evening)**

"You have a key to Cordelia's apartment?" Buffy asked.

"Well, I do kinda live here."

"Yeah, but not in the sense that you _live_ here. I don't mean that you're not alive, well you weren't until yesterday. But what I mean is that it's like…" but she had trailed off before getting to the point.

"Buffy, it's like what?" Angel asked as he put the key in the lock and opened the door. He had been a bit surprised that Cordelia wasn't back at the house yet, _but then again, she did want to steer clear of Buffy and I for a while. I don't think she can handle the 'PDA's' as her and Buffy would call them, especially with her being single. Buffy…_

"I don't know, forget I said anything."

_I wanted to say that she was avoiding again, but I think she already knows that. We are going to have to talk. _"Okay, it's forgotten." He opened the door and pushed it aside for his girlfriend to walk through first, and feeling almost giddy at referring to Buffy as his 'girlfriend,' even though he knew that that's what she is to him now, Angel followed her into the apartment.

"I'm gonna go get changed. And you should pick something warm to wear, it may be summer and California, but the nights can sometimes be cold."

"Sure, no thing, but I thought I had you to keep the nights from getting cold."

She grinned in a devilish way and walked over to him. "Don't worry, the nights will always be warm from now on."

"I'm glad."

"Just glad."

"Okay, thrilled."

She laughed, god he loved that laugh, and put her arms around his neck. "I'll always love you, you know that right?"

"I know. And I'll always love you. Even until there's nothing left of anything, I'll still love you."

Buffy then pulled him close, Angel put his arms tightly around her and rested his head on hers. Buffy then laid her head on his chest. "I love this sound, it's the most beautiful sound in all the world." She said as she listened to his heartbeat. _It's beating for you, love, _Angel thought.

"Buffy, what's wrong?"

"Nothing. I swear." She continued after a beat. "It's just, in the car on the way back from the park, I realised that I would never feel this again, and that what I feel for you, you might not know the full extent of. I don't think I even know. It scares me in a way, that you can make me feel so much."

"I know the feeling." He pulled her back so he could look into those beautiful green eyes that had only been grey the day before. "Buffy…I-I…" He took a breath, it still felt strange to him. Breathing, needing to breathe-_okay, off topic._ "I love you more than humanly possible, more than that. God, it feels like I'll explode half the time. But, that won't stop me from loving you more and more every second. I don't care if I do explode, just as long as I'll keep loving you, I'll be okay."

Buffy silently cried, "I'm scared, that if something should happen to you…I-I do-don't know w-what I'd d-do."

"Oh, Buffy…" he pulled her back into his arms. "Don't cry."

"Can-n't he-help it-it." Her buried her face in his chest, "I'm scared."

"I'm more scared of something happening to you."

"I-I…know you ar-are."

"Hey, let's not go out tonight, okay. We have the rest of our lives to go to the Pier, unless of course we don't live in L.A. in the future, but then we can just go to a-"

"You're babbling, honey."

"I know that, you must be rubbing off on me."

"I'm gonna wash my face." She suddenly broke away and fled in the direction of the bathroom. Angel sighed and leant against the wall,_ what am I going to do? I do love her more than anything, and I know she loves me, but have I hurt her too much for her to ever fully trust me again?_

**(page break)**

Buffy looked hard into the mirror. _Can I really do this? Be with him and forget all that has happened? How much he's hurt me._ Her eyes looked sad even though she'd finally gotten what she's always wanted. But the fear that it might not work, or that he'll just leave her again was getting too much. _I wish he didn't make me feel this way sometimes, to love him hurts so much._

After a few seconds, Buffy turned on the tap and splashed water on her face, turned the tap off, grabbed the hand towel and patted it dry. Her eyes (although still sad deep down) no longer were re and puffy from her crying, and she could see that sparkle, shine, glow…that only ever appeared when Angel was around her. Breathing a sigh of relief mingled with worry, Buffy, the Vampire Slayer put the towel back on the rack and went to leave the bathroom.

But in the doorway she faltered. _There's something…_Then suddenly there was a huge pounding on a door, from where the sound was coming from it sounded as though it was the front door about to be barged open. The Slayer ran from the room and into the hallway where she could now hear shouts.

"Open the door! Open it right now! Open it, you bitch! Open the god damn door!"

"Riley…?" she said to herself. _No, why did you have to come? Is it your lot in life to just screw everything up, or something?_

"Buffy." Called Angel, he turned into the hallway where Buffy was standing, momentarily stunned. "Buffy, it seems we have a visitor."

"Yeah, I'm sorry about this. He's my problem-"

"I am the boyfriend now, you could let me be macho about this whole thing you know."

She somehow smiled,_ he does make everything alright in the end, he may hurt me, but he makes it better._ "Look, Angel-"

"I know you two are in there! Don't pretend I'm not here! Open the door, Buffy!"

"Well, it's an upgrade from 'bitch.'" Said Buffy with a shrug. She could see the look on Angel's face, it was a 'now's not the time for jokes' look. "Well, you're the one who didn't want to go to the Pier, so I'm going to blame this on you."

"Fine." His tone firm, but he smirked at her anyway. "You ready to do this?"

"Truthfully: no. But I've got to if I'm ever going to put this behind me." But she didn't sound too convinced. _Let's just pretend we didn't hear and maybe he'll go away._

"He won't disappear, you know that."

"Yeah. But, Angel, he seems so angry. What if he-?" but instead of being able to finish, the pounding and yelling started up again.

"What if he what?"

"Gets…violent."

"Then you'll hit him. Then I'll hit him, he'll be unconscious and we can throw him outside and call the cops." He said smiling devilishly at her.

"Now who's joking around?"

"Well, this is a tense conversation and I'm trying to do my part to alleviate it."

"I don't think it's going to work," the yelling and banging continued. "I'm going to open the door now."

Angel nodded so slightly that it nearly went unseen, she could sense his unease about letting Riley access to the apartment and had to admit that it made her stomach flip when she thought about what might happen, _but I need to do this, and Riley needs to get over it and move on._

Buffy walked to the front door, stood staring at it for a few seconds then opened the door. Riley stopped yelling and pounding on the door and stood there looking quite surprised that the door was actually open and that Buffy was standing there.

"Hi, Riley." She said softly.

"Hi, Buffy."

"Riley, what are you doing here?"

"I-I…I've come to get you back." He said boldly, or as boldly as he could being half-drunk. She could smell the alcohol on him, he hadn't changed his clothes since they first arrived at L.A, it made her feel sorry for him, unfortunately.

"You have."

"Yes. So let's go." He stuck out his hand for hers.

"Riley, I'm with Angel now. We broke up remember, you do remember? How much did you drink?"

"Not too much, and I do remember, but I think that it's stupid and you can't want to be with him when you can have me."

"But I love Angel, I don't love you, Riley."

"Oh, I don't think I get it. How can you love him, he's a vampire?"

"He's not a vamp anymore and you know it." Her voice getting stronger and boldly. "He's a wonderful man, who loves me much more than you ever could. And I love him back just as much. I'm sorry, I really am, but this was going to happen eventually. I could never love you, never."

His eyes clouded over, they looked dark and cold. Buffy instinctively took a step back, Angel must have seen from where he was standing, because in an instant he was standing beside her. A part of her welcomed his presence, the other dreaded how Riley would react to seeing him.

"Riley."

"Angel."

"Guys, we don't need to do this. Riley, you should go and Angel, you said you were going to let me handle this. Alone."

"I know, but-"

"It's okay, I get it. You two have this whole rivalry thing going on, but both of you: get over it!"

Angel looked shocked and hurt, Riley was disappointed, but seemed pleased that it had hurt Angel. She felt so bad, _Angel didn't deserve that, he knows I love him and he should know that I'm not going to leave him for anyone let alone Riley. I hate that I can still hurt him, but I guess I always will be able to hurt him, just like he'll always be able to hurt me._

"Angel, I didn't mean it like that. God damn it, Riley! Get out!"

"What?" he looked surprised, I couldn't figure out why.

"You heard me. Get out." She pointed past Riley and out the door, "I'm not joking, Riley. I don't want you here, you don't have any right to be here-"

"I can't believe you're saying this, he's got you under a spell-"

"No I don't!" Yelled Angel, jumping into the conversation. "Just because you can't have her doesn't mean you have to jump to conclusions."

"I'm not jumping to anything." Counted Riley, bringing himself the his full height, which was taller than Angel. "Buffy loves me, well she did until we got here to wake you from your coma, which by the way could have all been a ploy to get her back here so you could put the spell on her-"

"How dare you, Finn? You're pathetic, you know that, a pathetic excuse for a human-"

"Well at least I am human."

"So am I. I'm more human than you, Buffy's told me about the government pumping you with all types of drugs, which one gives you the extra strength-"

Riley punched Angel in the face. He swung back and got Riley in the face also. Buffy stepped in and pushed the two of them apart, Riley fell out the doorway and Angel fell back onto the couch. It reminded her of Angel's visit only 2 months ago, _has it only been two months?_ Angel and Riley had fought over her then too, but their roles have now switched.

"God, you two are incredible, do you know that?!" asked the aghast Slayer, looking at then each in turn. Angel looked as though he might say something, but Buffy gave him a look. "Angel is my boyfriend, Riley, so deal with it." She said to the former soldier, "and you, Angel," she began, turning to face her lover. "You have nothing to be jealous about. I'm your girl, remember."

"I remember…and I'm sorry." He looked at her as though saying 'please forgive me, you won't regret it.' _Well, I definitely won't be regretting anything if I 'forgive' Angel._

She gave him the smile that Dawn likes to call 'the Angel smile,' it's one reserved just for him. He smiled back, _I'd like to call it his Buffy smile, but I don't really think it is, I think it's his 'extremely happy' smile. And that kinda makes me happy._

"I can't believe this." Snarled Riley.

"And I can't believe you have the nerve to come here and try to get me to get back with you." Snapped Buffy, "'cause, Riley, that's never gonna happen."

His face seemed to become dark and scary at those words, and if she wasn't the Slayer, Buffy was pretty sure she would have stepped back in fear. _What's happened to you, Riley? You used to be nice, dependable, decent and so, so normal. How did you just change all of a sudden?_

"This isn't the end of this." Riley said in warning to the Slayer and the ex-vampire.

"Yeah, Riley it is." Said Angel, stepping back up to stand partially in front of his girlfriend. Buffy felt that although it was nice to have a boyfriend who will protect you, but that maybe Angel felt he _had_ to protect her from Riley, not in the physical sense, but in the emotional sense.

Riley laughed softly at that, but didn't do or say anything, he just left. Buffy starred at the door, as Angel went forward to close it. _Did that really just happen? That wasn't Riley, I don't know who that was._

"Are you okay, Buffy?" Angel looked down intensely at his girlfriend, "honey, are you okay?"

"Yeah." She said softly, although she didn't really feel that 'yeah' covered it. 'Yeah' is almost the complete opposite to what she was feeling.

"You know you don't have to lie to me."

"I know, but…it's just that, that wasn't the Riley I know."

"He might not have shown that side of him before, but it's always there, Buffy."

She nodded and focused on the curtain trim. She didn't expect Angel to get how she felt about Riley, or how he felt about her. It wasn't an entirely happy relationship, but it was all she could give at that time. But, he…Riley did say that he loved her quite often, and that always made her feel horrible.

"I love you."

But then Angel would say something like that, and she didn't care who Riley was, or what he might have felt for her. Nothing mattered but Angel. She turned and looked into his dark eyes, the eyes that would always tell her that he loved her.

"I love you, too."

TBC…

Only 3 parts left of this now, and I'm sorry for the wait with updating. You know the deal, read and review.


	13. Part Twelve

**Part Twelve _17th July (morning)  
_(AN: The song is 'Near You Always,' by Jewel).**

_Please don't say I love you  
__Those words touch me much too deeply  
__And they make my core tremble  
__Don't think you realise the effect you have over me  
__And please don't look at me that way  
__It just makes me want to make you near me always_

Angel woke to the smell of food, he grinned like a love-sick puppy as he half-lifted his head off the pillow. He could sense that Buffy wasn't in the room, it had nothing to do with any heightened senses (because he didn't really have any left). But he liked to think it was because she is his soulmate, he could always feel her inside and it was the same for her. Angel's favourite silk robe came floating towards him. "Thanks, Dennis." Said Angel as he reached up and began to put it on.

"Angel, are you awake?" Called his girlfriend from the kitchen.

"Yeah." He replied getting out of bed and tying the rope around his waist.

"Stay there, I'll bring breakfast to you."

"Okay." He slid back in between the covers and sat up patiently waiting for Buffy.

Not too long later, Buffy walked into the bedroom dressed only in Angel's crimson red silk shirt. He felt a rush of possessiveness towards her, she smiled sweetly at him and placed the tray next to his legs on the bed.

"Good morning." She said kissing him briefly on the lips.

"Good morning."

"Have a nice sleep?"

"The best."

"Really?" she asked somewhat sceptically.

"Of course, I always slept best when I was with you."

Buffy didn't say anything, just looked at him in amazement and wonder. Her eyes were filled with a great array of emotions, he couldn't pinpoint what it was that she was feeling, but he did think it was good.

"I know the feeling…" she breathed. "I have an idea." Buffy said a few seconds later.

"Okay, tell me what you're wonderful idea is."

"That, for today, we do nothing. Just lay around the apartment, what do ya say?"

Angel looked over his girlfriend's face. He couldn't remember seeing her so happy. Her eyes were stark green and shone. Buffy smiled widely at him, and he couldn't help but smile back, _she's always made me feel better, happier and carefree. It has to be love._

"It sounds like a great idea." He smiled and reached up to kiss her full on the lips, _but still, there's something wrong with this picture. Why is Buffy so happy? The incident with Riley yesterday has still got her spooked._ When they parted, Angel looked deeply into Buffy's eyes as though they would hold the answer to her strange behaviour, he didn't find anything expect happiness, sheer, blissful happiness. "Who are you?"

"What? Angel, sweetie, what's the matter?"

He pushed what looked like his girlfriend away from him. "What have you done with Buffy?"

"I am Buffy. Are you feeling okay?"

"You're not Buffy, you're not her. Who are you!?"

Buffy laughed, it was evil and harsh. "Should have known I couldn't fool you, you know her just a little too well, don't you, vampire?" A gun then appeared in her hand, "Sorry, my bad. You're not a vampire anymore are you? You're human and a stake can still kill you. Faith could tell you that if you like. But a gun would be so much more fitting, be killed by something that couldn't kill you before."

"Get away from me." He leaped out of the bed and was nearly at the door, when the gun went off. Angel turned back to face the bed, but instead of Buffy standing there pointing the gun at him, it was Riley. "What…how did you get here?"

He laughed that evil and harsh laugh, it was then that Angel felt it. An incredible pain in his chest, he looked down and saw blood quickly soaking his shirt, _that's funny,_ he thought as he fell to the floor. _I wasn't wearing a shirt a few seconds ago. _

_And please don't kiss me so sweet  
It makes me crave a thousand kisses to follow  
And please don't touch me like that  
Makes every embrace seem pale and shallow  
And please don't come so close  
It just makes me want to make you near me always_

"Angel, honey. Wake up! wake up, you're having a nightmare. Angel, wake up!"

"Buffy…"

"Yeah, it's me."

Angel opened his eyes, groaned as the light hit them, re-closed them. "That was a weird dream."

"By the sounds of it, it was a nightmare and not a dream." Buffy said softly, "you want to talk about it?"

His first and most natural answer to that would have been: yes. But he didn't want to worry her. Buffy would think that it's prophetic and he didn't think she needed that added stress right now. "No, it was nothing really, just a stupid and weird dream."

"Nightmare." She corrected, "fine, don't tell me. It is up to you after all."

"Hey, don't be angry with me. It was nothing, really."

She looked steadily at her boyfriend. "Don't you dare lie to me." She got out of the bed and walked out the room.

"Buffy, wait! Buffy, come back!" he quickly go out of the bed, grabbed his pants, pulled them on and went looking for his girl. "Buffy, look, I'm sorry. I just don't want to bother you with this stuff."

"Isn't that what couples do?" she asked stepping out of the lounge room. "They help each other through things, they support each other. It's not stuff to me, Angel. You know that I need to know these things, I'm a part of your life now. So, don't go shutting me out of it."

"I'm not shutting you out, but I don't have to tell you everything."

"Yeah, you don't. But here I was thinking that you loved me and respected me enough to tell me everything."

"I do love you, you know that I do. But can you honestly say that you've never lied to me, or kept things from me?"

"No, I have kept things from you. But it's different now, you're human and we can be together like we've always wanted. No curse, nothing to keep us a part except ourselves. And now you can't tell me things, what the hell is going on?!"

"You're one to talk."

"What?"

"You think there's something going on with me and Cordelia." Buffy opened her mouth to speak, but Angel cut her off. "Don't you dare say otherwise. I know that you do."

"Well, it's kinda hard to think otherwise. You and her living together. Angel, I may be female, but even I know she's attractive. God, you know it too."

"Yeah, she's a beautiful woman, but I love you, not her. You're so much more beautiful, amazing, caring…do you want me to go on?" he pleaded with her. "Buffy, I love you so much. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, I don't care that way about Cordelia, but she is one of my best friends, Buffy. And that's not going to change, but I'm also never going to stop loving you."

"I know, it's just hard to love you sometimes." She looked away. "You can hurt me so much. I know you would never be with Cordy, but my mind leaves completely sometimes when it comes to you."

"I know the feeling." He smiled at her, "and that's the truth."

"I love you. A lot." She smiled somewhat sadly, "and that's what is scary."

"Hey, you don't need to be scared. Of anything, not anymore." Angel reached forward and pulled Buffy toward him, he noticed that there was a slight hesitation from her, but Buffy still let him put his arms around her. "I'll always be here, with you. Always. I'll never leave you-"

"Don't say that. Never is a promise, Angel. Never is a promise." Buffy laid her head on his chest, and wrapped her arms around his waist. "Don't make any promises you can't keep."

Angel didn't say anything, just held her close to him. _I can't tell her what I dreamt, I just can't do that to her. She needs me to be strong right now, Riley won't stop. He really does love Buffy. Unfortunately. And I don't really want any competition from him, ever. Not that I wouldn't win, come on, it is Riley._

"Angel…I love you."

"I love you too, Buffy. But I meant what I said before: I'll always be with you. And it is a promise. Even though you might not be able to see me, I'll always be with you."

"You better not break that promise, Angel, or I'll kick your ass."

He laughed and kissed her on the head. "I'll hold you to that."

"This isn't going to be easy it is? Us, I mean."

"Probably not, nothing with us ever has been. Nothing except how I feel about you, that was the easiest thing I've ever done. Loving you. But it will be hard, Buffy."

"That's okay."

"Really?"

"Yeah, it wouldn't be real if it was easy."

Angel once again kissed Buffy on the head, _I love you..._

_Please don't bring me flowers  
__They only whisper the sweet things you'd say  
__Don't try to understand me  
Your hands already know too much anyway  
__It just makes me want to make you near me always_

"Buffy, do you want something to eat?"

"No, I'm fine. You've been eating a lot though."

"I've spent too long not tasting anything, I have a lot of time to make up for."

"Okay, but don't spend your whole time eating, or there won't be time for anything else." Buffy said smirking, from where she could see Angel in the kitchen, she could tell he was grinning stupidly. _What would I ever do without you?_

He walked into the dining room with two plate in his hands. Buffy raised an eyebrow at the huge amount of food on the plates as he set them on the table. Angel happily ignored her and excitedly ate his food.

"Are you really going to eat all of that?" asked Buffy gesturing towards the 4 pieces of toast, the omelette, the scone, one boiled egg and four rashes of bacon. "I mean, really?"

"I like food."

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean you have to eat all those fatty things. I don't really want my boyfriend to die of a heart attack. That would be _to _ironic."

"I'll be fine. I won't eat like this forever, you know. Plus with demon fighting and other stuff-" he looked up at her when he said 'other stuff,' "I'll be able to burn these 'fatty' foods no problem." And he went back to eating his toast.

"Angel, about the vamps and patrolling…I-I…"

"I know that I got them to turn back time because I didn't want to be a burden on you, that I wouldn't let you fight alone-"

"But Xander, and not to mention Giles and Wesley, all can fight demons and not get killed."

"Exactly."

Buffy's eyes widened. "What? Did you just…?"

"I agree with you."

"Well, I thought it was going to take more convincing then that. I must be doing something right." She looked mildly impressed with herself.

"Plus, I do still have my strength, healing-"

"Stamina." Muttered Buffy to herself.

"What?"

"Nothing. I know you are still strong enough to fight vamps, but you are _human_ now and that does changes everything."

"It doesn't have to."

"Angel, stop it. You can still die, more so now."

"Funny, I thought I could die when I was a vamp too. Stake, sunlight, holy water…those things could kill me. I was never invincible, Buffy. Never, just didn't get older or sick."

"Angel, I didn't mean-"

"Then what did you mean?" his voice harsh and angry. Buffy flinched, looking away from Angel. She heard him sigh and put the knife and fork down. "Buffy…"

But she never let him finish, "just forget it." And with that, the slayer got out of her chair and walked out of the room.

"Buffy!" Angel yelled after her.

Damn it! Why is this happening? Did we just have a fight? Oh, this can't be happening. I love Angel, and we can be together…finally. Then why do we constantly screw it up? I need to get away for a few hours.Not even bothering to tell her boyfriend where she was going, Buffy left the house.

_And when you look in my eyes  
__Please know my heart is in your hands  
__It's nothing that I understand, but when in your arms  
__You have complete power over me  
__So be gentle if you please, 'cause  
__Your hands are in my hair and my heart is in your teeth  
__And it makes me want to make you near me always_

_I watched her from my hiding spot. She might know that I'm here, but I can't be sure. It wasn't too hard to track her down, I couldn't smell her and she was too fast to catch up with. It was mostly a gut feeling that helped me find her._

But he wasn't going to move from his spot in the café. He just watched her as she sat on the low wall that connected the sand form the beach to the sidewalk above. That was where he found her. It took a lot of inner strength to not go over there and tell her that he was sorry, that he loved her and wished she would forgive him…_because I'm nothing without you, Buffy._

Buffy suddenly turned her head and looked directly at him. Her eyes not the striking green they were earlier, but tinged with grey. His heart broke again. He smiled slightly at her, but she just sighed and turned back to stare at the ocean. He sighed also, _this is going to be much harder than I thought._

"Buffy…"

"I'm not sure I want to talk to you right now."

"Hey, that's cool." He sat down next to her, his legs dangling over the edge just like her. Both of them looking straight ahead. "I'll just sit here anyways."

"Angel, I'm not in the mood for your badly timed humour. If you could call it that." she mumbled under her breath.

"I'm trying here, Buffy. It's hard for me if you act this way."

"Excuse me?"

"I'm sorry, that didn't come out right. It's hard for to say I'm sorry if you act this way."

She didn't say anything. So he continued to talk.

"I love you, Buffy. You know this. But I don't know how many times I have to say it for you to realise that I never meant to hurt you and I never will. I'm sorry for the way I acted-"

"Don't, Angel. Just don't."

"Buffy, wait I-"

"I'm sorry. I have treated you like crap." She held up her hand to stop any protests. "I have, Angel. I shouldn't have doubted your feelings for me. But you've hurt me _so_ much, and it's just a little hard right now to fully trust you. Do you understand where I'm coming from?"

He nodded in response but said nothing.

"This is…I thought it would be smooth sailing from here on out. But that's not going to happen. It'll be hard, it'll hurt sometimes, but I want to do it with you, only you."

"I love you, Buffy."

"I love you too, Angel. But next time, you saying that you love me won't make it better, got it."

"Got it."

She smiled. He smiled too.

"So, what are we going to do now?" Buffy asked Angel after a few minutes of silence.

"Well, I was thinking of asking you to marry me."

"What?"

"Buffy, I was going to say a long speech, with lots of proclamations and promises that I'll always love you. But I figure that you already know that I love you more than life itself. So I'm just going to ask."

Angel dropped down to the sand, which was the perfect height to propose to his girlfriend. He pulled out a ring from his pocket.

"Sorry, no box."

Buffy made weird gasping noises. It was a Claddagh ring, an exact replica of the one he gave her on her 17th birthday. He got down on one knee, he wobbled a bit because of the unstable sand, fiddling with the ring in his hands. He looked intently in her eyes, they were green. _That's a good sign right?_

"Buffy Anne Summers, will you marry me?"

_I want to be near you always  
__I want to be near you always  
__I want to be near you always_

TBC… 

Only one more part (plus the epilogue) left. I hope I handled the proposing right. None of my fic have had it in them before. Please read and review! Maddy.


	14. Part Thirteen

**Part Thirteen 17th July (afternoon)**

Buffy's mouth had fallen open the second Angel pulled out the ring from his pocket. _What the hell is he doing? Proposing you idiot, so pay attention._

"Buffy Anne Summers, will you marry me?"

Her eyes bulged and her mouth was still open.

"Buffy, will you marry me?"

"Angel…I-I…" she smiled widely at him, her eyes welling with tears. "Of course I'll marry you."

"You will?"

She nodded, "yeah. I will."

"Okay."

"Are you going to put the ring on my finger now?"

"Right. Still kinda shocked-"

"Why, didn't you think I'd say yes?"

"Truthfully, I thought you'd say I was rushing it."

"We've been waiting long enough to be together. It'll just be a wonderful formality."

"A _wonderful_ formality."

"Put it on."

Angel slid the ring onto Buffy's finger, as it slid all the way, Buffy screamed in bliss and launched herself at Angel. He caught her in his arms and they fell backwards onto the sand.

"I love you, my Angel."

"I love you, too."

"I can't believe this is happening."

"But it is. Soon. Whenever we can, I'm getting married to you."

_

* * *

_

Buffy was still staring at the phone, she knew it was making Angel crazy, but he wasn't in her position and wouldn't have to deal with the Sunnydale Gang till they came running to LA thinking that Angel has brain-washed her, that Riley is her one, true soulmate…

The thought of it was making her head hurt, but she still sat there staring at the phone.

"Buffy, are you going to ring them?" asked Cordy coming from the kitchen and into the lounge room. "You're driving Angel – and not to mention myself – crazy."

"Well, why don't you ring them."

"No way. And besides I'm not the one marrying Angel."

"Well, I might not be either."

"What? Of course you're going to."

"Not if they find out. My mother hates him, Giles dislikes him, Willow thinks he hurts me too much, Xander will be jealous, Spike will think everyone else's reaction is funny as hell…and Anya and Tara won't really care."

Cordelia looked at Buffy with raised eyebrows. Buffy looked away, then at the phone, then quickly at the door and begun staring at it instead as though it was truly fascinating.

"I live here, and I know my door is just as boring to look at, as is my phone." Cordelia came around to stand in the way of the door. Buffy thought of trying to move her head so she could see the door again, but realised that would be a dumb thing to do._ I have to stop avoiding the phone call when I tell Willow that I'm in LA, now engaged to Angel and that I want her to bring the Gang and my mother here so I can talk to everyone face to face. Oh yeah, that'll be a great conversation._

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"Do you want me to make a list? It'll be a very long list-"

"How about…you don't care what they think, you love him and want to spend the rest of your life with him?"

"That's not a reason not to call them."

"Yes, it is." Cordelia sat down beside her. "They are just going to have to deal with it. 'Sides, you're both deliriously happy to the extent that it's making my sick-"

"Thanks."

"But it's your choice and they have to live with it."

"What if they can't?"

Cordelia didn't answer her. And somehow that made it worse. She rolled her eyes and began to look at the walls.

"Oh, for crying out loud!" yelled Cordelia. "Ring them. Or I will."

"Okay, if you want."

"Fine. I'll tell them that you and Angel eloped to Vegas-"

"Eloped. Vegas. You wouldn't dare."

"Oh, I would. You know I would."

_And I did._ "Okay, okay. I'll ring them. Can you just give me a minute?"

"One minute." She said sternly, then walked back into the kitchen yelling over her shoulder, "you have exactly one minute!"

Buffy rolled her eyes, _one minute. I have to work up the courage to call Willow and Mom in one minute…has a minute already passed? Just do it, Buffy. Just ring them up and tell them that you are unbelievably happy with Angel and you are going to get married with or without their blessings. Wow, that was pretty good. I'll probably forget it once they pick up though._ Buffy let out of groan of annoyance and frustration, then glanced at the phone again. Her head was filled with the vision of throwing the phone on the ground and stomping it to bits. _Cordelia might not like that._

"Buffy! It's been a minute!" called Cordy as she come back into the room with Angel in tow. "Ring them."

"Angel, she's being very pushy." Complained Buffy like a little girl. "Make her go away."

Angel chuckled, but shook his head. "You do need to ring, honey. Just do it, then it'll be over."

"Okay," she relented.

"How do you do that?" Cordelia asked Angel.

"Do what?"

"Get her to do anything."

"You can't be that stupid, can you?" asked the bewildered Slayer. "It's 'cause I love him."

"Fine. Whatever. Just ring them. Tell me about it tomorrow, I'm staying over at Wesley's again, but I'll be back early in the morning. I have an audition to go to at 9." She said excitedly. "See you guys later."

"Bye, Cordy." Said Buffy.

"Bye, Cordelia and good luck with the audition." Said Angel, he then sat next to his fiancé. Cordelia opened the front door and left with a final goodbye.

"You gonna ring them?"

"Yeah. I'm going to ring them."

Buffy reached forward and picked up the receiver. Then dialled her mother.

* * *

Angel watched Buffy in silence, she hadn't spoken a word since she hung up on Willow. While Angel had only heard only one side of both conversations – the one with Buffy's mother and then the one with Willow – he knew that neither were very happy about the situation. Not that he blamed them, but he'd be lying to himself and others if he said that it didn't hurt.

He wants to be with Buffy, and now nothing was going to stand between them. Except maybe the Scooby Gang along with Joyce. And even though Buffy repeatedly said that they were going to get married even if they don't approve, Angel knew that she desperately wants them to be happy for her.

"Buffy…honey…are you okay?"

"Yeah. Sure. Fine." She replied distractedly.

"I don't believe you."

"Well, that's your problem." She snapped. Angel's eyes flashed with pain.

"Buffy, I-"

"I'm sorry." Said Buffy softly, "I didn't mean to snap at you. They're never going to approve, are they?"

"I don't know. I wish that they would, for your sake more than mine."

"I wish they would too."

"When are they coming?" asked Angel, hoping the answer was never.

"Tomorrow morning. All of them are coming."

"Who's all of them?"

"My mom, Willow, Xander and Giles. Tara and Anya would come too, I guess, if they knew us better."

"Xander?"

Buffy laughed, Angel smiled. "Yeah, Xander. My life's never dull, that sucks."

"Well, from now on, I'll try my hardest to make your life as dull as humanly possible." Joked Angel.

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

From his spot leaning on the door frame, Angel watched as Buffy got up from the bed and walked towards him and instinctively, he reached out his arms and she fell into them.

"It'll be okay." He said rubbing her back, trying to do anything to comfort her. "I'm marrying you, it'll be okay."

"I hope marrying you will be more than just okay. I'm expecting certain things from my husband." She lifted her head off his chest and looked into his eyes. "Husband…I never thought we'd get this. And now we are getting married, to each other…it's everything we've ever wanted, just being together. If…I'll take you anyway I can get you."

"No one is stopping us from being together. I've waited too long and it's hurt too much being without you."

"I know, I know." Buffy pulled Angel miraculously closer and laid her head back on his chest. _I felt your heart beat…_ Tears started to well in her eyes, tears of happiness, sadness and pain. "We'll make this work, right?"

"We'll make it work. I'll always be with you, and that is a promise that's impossible to break."

* * *

"He's what!"

"The vampire is no longer a vampire, Miss Morgan."

"Then what is he? What does that mean?" asked an infuriated Lilah, it was bad enough that the sorcerer had failed 2 days ago in keeping the Slayer in limbo with Angel and to make matters worse, the vampire broke out of the spell also. The senior Partners were going to have her head for this.

"He's…uh…human." The clerk flinched, hoping that she wasn't going to shoot the messenger.

"Human! How the hell did that happen? He was only supposed to be comatose and out of our hair, not human and very much in our hair."

"He might not be a problem anymore. Word is, that he and the Slayer are getting hitched. One of our informants following them saw the proposal at the beach, he said it was real romantic-"

"Engaged." She laughed, "oh, this could be good. Go, leave."

The clerk happily left, closing the office door behind him. As soon as the clerk had left, Lilah picked up the phone receiver and dialled the number for the disposal department.

"Yes, this is Lilah Morgan from Special Projects. I have someone I need you guys to target. Yes, but only target. Under no circumstance are you to kill. Who? Buffy Summers, the Slayer. Yes, I'm sure. Start immediately."

She hung up, grinning like the evil lawyer that she was. _If we can't get Angel back into the game through his need for redemption, we'll make him seek revenge for targeting his fiancé. Oh, this is too good to be true…_

* * *

That was not as long as I first thought and/or wanted, but everything that is needed is there. Just the epilogue to go. And big thank you for coming this far, Maddy. Please read and review. 


	15. Epilogue

**Epilogue17th July (evening)**

**(Note: Song is Possession by Sarah McLachlan, I only used bits though).**

_And I would be the one  
__To hold you down  
__And kiss you so hard  
__I'll take your breath away  
__And after I'd wipe away the tears  
__Just close your eyes, dear_

"Tomorrow…" she said softly to herself. "Tomorrow…damn it."

"Honey, did you say something?" asked Angel.

"Yeah, but it doesn't matter. Just thinking out loud."

Buffy rolled over onto her side and faced Angel. He smiled sleepily at her, Buffy reached out and touched the side of his face.

"Thank you, Angel. For everything."

"It was my pleasure. What's wrong?" he said more seriously and more awake. Angel propped himself up using his elbow. "Buffy…?"

"Just worried. Still worried and won't stop worrying for the foreseeable future. But at least I don't have to worry about you or us. That's a huge relief, let me tell you."

"It is. And I'm worried about tomorrow too."

Buffy sighed in frustration and fell back onto her back. "This is a majorly screwed up situation and I can't think of a way to make it better or easier. I have so many what ifs going through my head. What if they try and drag me back to Sunnydale? What if they find and bring Riley here with them? What if they never speak to me again? What if you-"

Angel suddenly kissed her out of nowhere. Buffy didn't mind of course, she out her arms tightly around his neck and pulled him closer.

"That was nice of you." She said smiling as they pulled away. "You sure know how to make me feel better, don't you?"

"I try."

"And succeed in every way." Buffy looked at the clock on the bedside table. "Oh, crap. Look at the time."

"Why, what time is it?"

"Dinner. I'm hungry. You wanna make me something?"

"Sure." He sat up and swung his legs over the edge of the bed. Buffy also sat up and watched Angel as he got dressed, after he put his pants on, Angel turned to his fiancé. "You're gonna have to learn how to cook."

"One day I will, but who wants to cook when their wonderful boy – oops – fiancé can do it for them?"

He considered the question. "Fine, I won't cook then."

Buffy glared and threw the pillow at him, Angel easily ducked and left the room chuckling.

_Through this world I've stumbled  
__So many times betrayed  
__Trying to find an honest word  
__To find the truth enslaved  
__Oh, you speak to me in riddles  
__And you speak to me in rhymes  
__My body aches to breathe your breath  
__Your words keep me alive_

Buffy watched Angel make their dinner from where she was sitting on a chair in the kitchen. It still amazed her that he was human, that they were together, that she could kiss him, tell him that she loved him without feeling bad or hating that they can't have more.

_I'm getting married to that man. _She thought, happily. _Finally we can have that ending we've wanted for so long. But it's not the end. Nope, it's the beginning of our life together._

"Did you speak to your sister?"

"Yeah, she picked up the phone. I told her the good news, at least she thinks it's good news too."

"Pity Dawn's not coming tomorrow then. We could use another person on our side."

"We've got Cordy, remember. She's like having three people on our team. Plus, I reckon we can swing at least one of them. I'm hoping Giles acts grown up about it."

He sighed and looked into her eyes. Such sadness. Such remorse, they hadn't lost their haunted, guilty look yet. It made Buffy's heart ache.

"Buffy, they have every reason to be upset. To be angry at both of us, most of all me. They have every right to hate me. I hurt them all. Let's-"

"What? No. You didn't hurt anybody, Angel. I know you better than anyone, and you would never do that."

"Are you kidding? I know that you regard me and Angelus to be different, but he's in here. He and I are essentially one and the same-"

"I refuse to believe that."

"And I love you for it. I really do, but-"

"No." she said firmly. "I don't want to hear what comes after that 'but.' I love you, not that monster. If you are the same like you say, does that mean I love him too, because you're him! Do you think that I could love him!" she cried, tears coming to her eyes.

"No. You couldn't." replied Angel, tears filling his own eyes.

"So, that means you're wrong. You and Angelus are not the same. I don't, I can't love something without a soul. You have a soul, the most beautiful one I've ever met. For as long as we're together, I don't want to hear you say that every again."

"Buffy, I'm sorry." He ran to her side and put his arms tightly around her small body. Buffy cried into his shoulder. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I love you, you know that I do."

"I know. Angel, I love you so much."

"Hey," he pulled back and wiped the tears from her cheeks. "No more tears." Angel smiled at her. _That half-smile that makes me forget to breathe._ "No more."

"No more. For a while anyway."

"Come on. I'll make the rest of dinner, we can eat it, then have a wonderful night together before the Inquisition shows up tomorrow and ruins our fun."

"Sounds like a good plan." Buffy smiled and hugged him.

Angel smiled and they let each other go. He went back to making the dinner for two. _At least we can be happy for the moment…I hope it lasts for as long as possible…_

_Into this night I wander  
__It's morning that I dread  
__Another day of knowing  
__Of the path I fear to tread  
__Oh, into the sea of waking dreams  
__I follow without pride  
__Nothing stands between us here  
__And I won't be denied_

Riley Finn sat in a room by himself, he hated himself for being by himself. Buffy's meant to be with him, according to the ex-commando, but she's with the vampire. No, he's not a vampire anymore. Angel is a human.

"Human…that thing can't be human. He may have a heart beat and might not drink blood anymore. But he's not human, it takes more than that to be a human."

Riley Finn looked at the object lying next to him on the bed. His revenge on the monster that took his Buffy from him would soon be complete. He picked up the gun from the bed and laughed.

_I'll hold you down  
__Kiss you so hard  
__I'll take your breath away  
__And after I'd wipe away the tears  
__Just close you eyes…_

THE END.

Coming soon…Nothing But Heartache, the 2nd in the trilogy. Thank you so much for reading this fic in it's entirety. Don't forget to review, I'd love to hear from you, Maddy.


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